Friday, December 19

Date Rape Story of Courage and Sucess!

Jullianna wrote to me about two years ago about her brother molesting her during her young adolescence. She was now in college and pursuing a nursing degree. She had read "Invisible Girls" gone to the Girlthrive website and found inspiration. She sent me her story- it was the first time she began to process. "Invisible Girls" helped her to begin healing at around 19 years old. I awarded Julianna a Girlthrive Scholarship stipend for her studies. We kept in touch. She was making smarter decisions regarding men, dating, drinking etc. She sent me a photo in the mail early last year of her and her brother- actually dealing directly with each other, beginning to heal. Cut to the other day... I get an email from Julianna telling me she was raped by her girlfriends ex-boyfriend at a party. She drank too much, blacked out, and then woke up half naked and knew that the "friend" had raped her. There were also witnesses at the party who saw him take her into his bedroom- Julianna went to the hospital and the police. She wrote that she was afraid that I would be disappointed in her for drinking, and getting raped. She was clear that even though she was drunk, the rape was not her fault ! She wanted to prosecute. Her family does not support her on very much emotionally, they are not close, and she did not tell them. Of course I was so proud of her for writing to me and sharing her experience. I wrote back telling her I was proud and thought she was so very brave to report the rape. Well yesterday Julie called me on my cell! She had just come from the courts and her charges against the rapist stuck. There is a warrant out for his arrest, he will spend Christmas in jail- they are going to trial! Julliana found out that he had also raped other girls- she feels she is not only saving herself but other girls too. Although the ex girlfriend of the rapist is still friendly with the rapist, has rejected Jullaina, she will not tell her parents because they will most likely blame her, the lawyers in court made her out to be to blame and a drunk slut, .... Julianna is happy, she is proud. Many people who were at the party came forward in her support as witnesses- I got to be "Dr. Patti Mommy" I got the chance to be Julliana's good mommy at the moment where she called ME when she left the court room. Girls you have no idea what an honor it is to be in your lives- I am so touched and moved by all of you every day. !!! Sharing Great News xo dr. Patti

Wednesday, October 15

Time to Think About Women's Rights!

The summer has come and gone and we are here ready for a new election. I hope all of you are aware that Mc Cain and Sara Palin are against abortion. Palin is against abortion even in cases of rape and incest. This is amazing to me- what is more amazing is that women can call themselves feminists who believe this. !!!!! If you are old enough to vote I urge you to look at the facts about women's rights before you vote- The Obama ticket is for women's rights and Biden Obama's Vice Presidental running mate actually wrote and was instrumental in passing the Stop Violence Against Women bill to protect girls and women!! Here is what Joe Biden has to say about that bill:

"I consider the Violence Against Women Act the single most significant legislation that I’ve crafted during my 35-year tenure in the Senate. Indeed, the enactment of the Violence Against Women Act in 1994 was the beginning of a historic commitment to women and children victimized by domestic violence and sexual assault. Our nation has been rewarded for this commitment. Since the Act’s passage in 1994, domestic violence has dropped by almost 50%, incidents of rape are down by 60%, and the number of women killed by an abusive husband or boyfriend is down by 22%. Today, more than half of all rape victims are stepping forward to report the crime. And since we passed the Act in 1994 over a million women have found justice in our courtrooms and obtained domestic violence protective orders." – Senator Joe Biden

What are your thoughts on this election? My biggest political concern has always been women's rights- Love xo Dr. Patti

Saturday, July 26

Camp CADI In Full Force!!

Hi girls!! Thank you all for reaching out to me through the blog and email so that I could help to sign you up for Camp CADI, the only camp for sexually abused girls! Amy has come up with such wonderful activities for Camp CADI- The Girlthrive Scholarship Fund has awarded 10 camperships to girls from all around the country!! We have girls coming from the South, Mid-West, New England, Pennsylvania and New York City. I am so proud of all of you girls that are blogging and reaching out! Look forward to lots of pics in a future blog after the Camp. Amy hopes to run Camp CADI all over the country soon. There will be spa nights, camp fires, music, poetry, dance, talent shows, rope courses, and more. So please stay tuned! After the camp the girls will share their experiences on our blog. We will keep you all posted! xox dr. patti

Friday, June 27

The Court Ruling No Death Penalty For Rapists of Children

Not sure if you are all aware that there was a court ruling this week that rapists will not face the death penalty. This ruling is basically for men who rape children. At first I was upset, but very quickly I began to think about the survivors. It would be a terrible responsibility for a child to know they were responsible for someones death. I also believe that it would make it much harder in incest cases in particular. What child really wants to be responsible for their father, or uncle dying? Also who knows if the child would always be blamed by other family members. So I concluded that it makes sense for the survivor not to have the death penalty for the rapist. It is hard enough for so many survivors when their abuser is convicted and locked up. Often she/he is blamed for the abuser being locked up, and that is bad enough, can you imagine being responsible for the death of a father?..... Your thoughts........ xo dr. p

Saturday, May 17

Monday, April 28

Sexual Abuse In Religion: Mother's Sending Their Daughters to Hell...

I have been so grateful to read the comments from the young women involved in the Morman Religion and other religious groups. One thing I do not specifically address in "Invisible Girls" is abuse in religion. It is so much like incest. It seems that the girls are told to marry and to have sex with these men by the religion and also by their mothers. I am guessing that just as with incest, the mother refusing to protect her daugher, is the most upsetting and traumatizing for the girls. After all, if your own mother tells you to marry when you are 15,16,17, 18 years old.... who can you trust? Who will protect you? Not only do these discusting men say you belong to them, they actually say that God speaks to them and that you are obeying God by marrying ... Oye Vey.... I never stop being amazed by the strength and honesty of all of you. I am so thrilled that some of you have found Girlthrive and feel you can reach out to us here on this blog. So.... What have some of your mothers done to make you feel that you had to give in to sexual abuse......??? When a mother actually stands by and watches her daugther marry an old man who has many wifes, how can this girl feel? This has to be so confusing and upsetting to all sexual abuse survivors. But when you share you realize you are not crazy or alone. As always thank you all so much for sharing. xxoo dr. patti

Sunday, April 20

Texas Polygamy Compound

I have been so upset and confused by the latest bust of the polygamy compound in Texas. I am totally confused about how this is possible. How is it that in the United States that men are allowed to marry more than one woman- or should i say girl.... What I do not understand is how it is possible that this bust has taken place because of one girl calling and saying she has been abused. Don't the police know about this compound?! How come it has taken this long to go in and take the children away from this crazy abuse?????!! I saw the women on the news and they seemed so robotic, so totally hypnotized into believing that all is well with their lifestyle. I also saw some of the gross 50 and 60 year old men that "marry" these 15,16,17,18, year old girls. YUCK! This is incest, sexual abuse, sexual exploitation, you name it. It is totally WRONG!!!! I know that many of my clients get triggered when this kind of thing is on the news. I am sorry that it is happening in this Century, and I am sorry that as a nation we are all so blind and helpless that this goes on. Thank goodness someone came forward - thank goodness that the judge is taking time for these children to have time away from the compound while details are being sorted out. Thank goodness one young woman came forward and TOLD!! I can only hope that this will set some sort of precedent for other polygamist compounds- instead of hiding, I hope we will bust in and take the children and the women and De-program them- Thanks for listening to my rant! xo dr. patti

Friday, April 11

April Sex Abuse Awareness Month

Well each April we acknowledge sexual abuse a bit more. I believe every month should be sexual abuse awareness month. This month I was able to speak on speaker phone to a class at Ithaca College in Upstate New York about "Invisible Girls". The teacher has used my book for three semesters with her health ed undergrad teachers in training. It was great to speak to the students directly. Also I will be taking the train to Washington DC tomorrow to participate in "Stop The Silence" march. I will be personally giving away books through my Girlthrive Education Fund. So if any of you are in Washington on Sunday April 13, stop by the march! And remember every day you tell someone sex abuse exists you are breaking open Pandora's box of secrets!
What have you done on a personal level that has broken open Pandora's box?? Please share. xo love, dr. p

Saturday, January 12

Have any films resonated for you?

Well day two of the Girlthrive blog. Thanks so much for all your comments! I am wondering if any films have resonated for you? I saw the film "Hard Candy" last year, and I thought it was quite amazing. I won't be giving anything away by telling you that the teen girl in the film is strong, smart, cunning and gets to torture the abuser. If you are faint of heart, this film may be too much for you. It does deal with the anger of being a survivor, the anger of all sex abuse, and it is a revenge film. I loved it- but of course it was too strong for women to really make it by Hollywood standards. It was not in the theaters for very long. But if you can get it on dvd I reccomend it. I would love to hear your reviews of this film or any other that you felt was strong for survivors and girls in general. xxoo dr. patti

Friday, January 11

my first post

hi everyone! i am really excited to start this blog. i can not wait to hear what so many of you have on your minds. i am getting so many emails from girls telling me that they are healing from sexual abuse. recently i heard from a girl that was 13 years old. she took "invisible girls" out of her local library and after reading it she told her mother about her abuse. her mom actually was able to help her - this 13 year old says that now she has stopped pulling her hair, she sleeps at night, and her nitemares have stopped!!! yeaahhh.
i can not tell you how amazing it is to hear these kinds of experiences. what is on your mind? do you want to share an experience? tell us about a film you have seen recently that was powerful for you? tell us what helps you heal? i would love to hear from you. xxoo dr. patti

About "Invisible Girls"

United States
"Invisible Girls" tells the truth about sexual abuse as no other book has! Rather than me telling you how the book is touching girls around the world, I will tell you what they are saying! Now in 2009 we have our new and revised edition of "Invisible Girls" - we have added 100 pages, a chapter about prostituion as sex abuse, a chapter filled with emails recieved over the past 5 years- Please check out our 2nd edition! xo dr. p "Invisible Girls has saved my life. I was afraid that I was the only girl keeping these secrets, and when I read "Invisible Girls" I starting telling about my abuse, and suddenly I knew I could be alright"- Sue 18 years old "Invisible Girls" is short of a miracle- I read it whenever I feel alone. It helps me to deal and grow and go on."- Tamar 17 years old "Until I read "Invisible Girls" I was afraid to tell what happened to me. Now my mum is supportive and I know I can heal" Britney 14 years old