Well day two of the Girlthrive blog. Thanks so much for all your comments! I am wondering if any films have resonated for you? I saw the film "Hard Candy" last year, and I thought it was quite amazing. I won't be giving anything away by telling you that the teen girl in the film is strong, smart, cunning and gets to torture the abuser. If you are faint of heart, this film may be too much for you. It does deal with the anger of being a survivor, the anger of all sex abuse, and it is a revenge film. I loved it- but of course it was too strong for women to really make it by Hollywood standards. It was not in the theaters for very long. But if you can get it on dvd I reccomend it. I would love to hear your reviews of this film or any other that you felt was strong for survivors and girls in general. xxoo dr. patti
Saturday, January 12
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About "Invisible Girls"
- Dr Patti
- United States
- "Invisible Girls" tells the truth about sexual abuse as no other book has! Rather than me telling you how the book is touching girls around the world, I will tell you what they are saying! Now in 2009 we have our new and revised edition of "Invisible Girls" - we have added 100 pages, a chapter about prostituion as sex abuse, a chapter filled with emails recieved over the past 5 years- Please check out our 2nd edition! xo dr. p "Invisible Girls has saved my life. I was afraid that I was the only girl keeping these secrets, and when I read "Invisible Girls" I starting telling about my abuse, and suddenly I knew I could be alright"- Sue 18 years old "Invisible Girls" is short of a miracle- I read it whenever I feel alone. It helps me to deal and grow and go on."- Tamar 17 years old "Until I read "Invisible Girls" I was afraid to tell what happened to me. Now my mum is supportive and I know I can heal" Britney 14 years old
23 comments:
The movie Speak (which is also a book) really touched me. I went through all of high school being silent and not telling anyone why I was hurting. I had no idea that speaking would free me.
Plot Outline:
The teenager Melinda Sordino (Kristen Stewart) joins the high-school with a great feeling of rejection and becomes practically mute. Her school mates and friends call her "squealer", because she called the police during a summer party; she does not have communication with her mother, Joyce Sordino (Elizabeth Perkins), who is workaholic and is permanently busy; and she has problem with a very radical teacher. She finds a great support with her arts teacher Mr. Freeman (Steve Zahn) and her school friend David Petrakis (Michael Angarano), and recalls her traumatic experience in the summer school, when she was raped, learning how to deal with the situation and reborn mature. Written by Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Hello,
I hope that everyone is doing well!
I start classes tomorrow for the spring semester, but Boston is expecting anywhere between 10-14 inches of snow. So, I'm praying for a snow day :)
Anyway, for some reason I cannot post messages on the actual blog. I can only comment. I think it may have something to do with my security settings. But, I wanted to respond to Dr. Patti's post about influential movies. I hope it's okay that I'm responding in the "comment" section.
Last semester I had to watch the movie "Boys Don't Cry" for a social work class. I don't want to give away too much of the film incase anybody decides to see it. All I am going to say is that Hillary Swank, who plays the main character, is a transgender individual in the film and ultimately endures sexual abuse because of her sexuality. I would not recommend this movie for anyone who is easily triggered. However, I thought the movie had an incredible message, and I would encourage people to watch it to promote the message that rape and sexual assault not only happens when a man perpetrates a woman. Moreover, it does not matter what one's sexuality is. The aftermath of sexual abuse is devastating for everyone. Overall, in my opinion, "Boy's Don't Cry" is an extremely powerful movie.
Until the next blog, take care.
I have seen both of these films. I like the book and the film "Speak". I felt that the story was through the young woman and that made it very authentic. I too had a lot of problems with the rape scene in the film "Boy's Don't Cry". I felt it was too extreme. They did not need to make it so extreme to get the point across. And Rach you are right to warn girls that this could trigger them. I really like the film "Moonsoon Wedding". It is a beautiful movie that takes place in India. It is not specifically about abuse but it deals with it in a very powerful, responsible way. I highly reccomend it.
hi everyone! a favorite movie of mine is "Out of the Blue". It was done in the 70's and is extremely powerful. I found it hard to watch at times but ultimately great. It doesnt really have any specific rape scenes or anything, if i remember correctly. Instead it shows how much rage the teenage girl has. A fantastic film.
i love the movie Whale Rider! Its a New Zealand movie, so i'm not sure how widely avaliable it is, but i think its awsome! it has a really strong powerful female main character Pai, and deals a lot with male dominated society and the struggles this poses to females! if you can find a copy of it i fully recommend watching it!
Hey... this is true, sometimes films do have very powerful msgs to pass and influence lots of people. I like the film “The Kid”… I guess it does help me to remember to take care of my inner child and allow her to come out every now and then to comfort and assure her that things are going to be ok!
I think Good Will Hunting movie is a good movie. It's about a kid who committed a crime and his punishment is to get therapy and work with a math professor. This kid, Will can't connect with a therapist and doesn't let them come into his life. But then he meets with one therapist who doesn't give up on him and helps Will find his true self. So it's never really too late to get help...I have watched so many times because it's really hard to let people into my life but my therapist has not given up on me so I know she will always be there for me.
There is a very powerful film called "Loyalties". It is a Canadian film made by women, featuring many women- in various relationships, friends, mothers, daughters... If you can get it, see it. I love all the comments. I too loved the scene in "Good Will Hunting" when the therapist corners the client and insists: "IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT".
Whale Rider is also such a wonderful film about strength in girls, and overcoming obstacles. Out of The Blue is a very very strong and violent film. I would give lots of warnings about being triggered through that film. The parents in that film are horendous, but it is amazing and very very disturbing. Another film I thought really showed the mothers role in incest is "Nuts". It was originally a play, and the film stars Barbara Striesand. I actually love that film. The only thing I would change is that I would like the lawyer to be a woman. But other than that it is very clear and the message is also very clear. Thanks everyone for blogging on this topic- keep watching, reading, creating, loving, doing. xx dr. p
When the psychologist told Will, "It's not your fault, it's not your fault, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT"...I started to cry. I thought it was the most powerful thing ever. Does anyone know of any books that I can get as well? I have yours Dr. Patti, and I also have "The courage to heal". Have you written other books Dr. Patti?
Nuts is by far one of the best films I've seen re: abuse. However, I don't know that I would recommend it to young girls who are coming to terms with their abuse.
What exactly is nuts about? I'm really interested in learning more. The only thing is that sometimes I freak out because if I see scenes or if someone talks about it in depth...I relive it. That's why I'm afraid to go watch some of the movies...do you think it will help if I just do it?
I agree with anonymous that Nuts is not the best film for a young girl to see. But they do not show any of the abuse - they infer it- The powerful part is the realistic portrayal of the mother. Also to answer an earlier question about books, I included my reccomended books in the back of Invisible Girls with little descriptions. xo xo dr. patti
And to answer what "Nuts" is about: It was first a play and now is a film staring Barbara Striesand. It takes place in a court room because Barbara Striesand's character is on trail for murdering a "john". She is a high priced prostitute. The story has some flashbacks of her abuse, which brought her to prostitution. Her parents are in the court room - The only problem I have with the film is that the male lawyer is one of the main heros. I would have liked the lawyer to have been a female character. Other than that, it is very powerful and truthful about incest. xo dr.p
I didn't realize there were this many somewhat recent movies out about sexual abuse, etc. My therapist said that Finding Angela Shelton (is that it????) is really good. I know it is a book and a movie. I haven't seen it though.
There are some movies that I have seen that I can so relate to on this topic, but they are so sad and they make me cry. I haven't watched them in a long long time. Just too triggering for me right now. It was easier to watch when I was numbed out and in a near constant state of dissociation. I am 38 now, and as a late teen/young adult I always identified strongly with the movie Something About Amelia. I don't really want to talk about it, but I admired her for being able to tell. I never could. I also strongly identified with the little girl in the movie Child of Rage, except that she was "driven" to harm others,and I was driven to self harm. I really can't watch much of these movies though....especially since I have been in therapy for about a year now, and have gotten more in touch with my feelings. I just become a total pillar of salt! Also, I have DID and that just complicates things. It's just not a healthy choice for me at this point to wat6ch movies like that. We will experience a sort of system dysregulation. Lately we have been doing really really well...talking, feeling our feelings and not always dissociating, and we haven't engaged in selfharm in over 100 days, so I'm not watching any movies right now I don't think.
Well this is not a therapy blog- but i will say that what ever triggers you if you do not want to be triggered - turn the movie off- And honor your feelings! I remember the film Something About Amelia- very powerful. But if I am correct they tried to get the family together in the end. I find this CRAZY and CRAZY-MAKING!! Any father who molests his daughter should be shunned and rejected totally from the family. Other wise it is very confusing for the girl. But we all know that incest is not that simple and that it probably would not happen in the first place if the mother were strong and protective and not suffering from denial. But anyone who wants to see films that are actually presenting sex abuse in a realistic way could go with the list in this blog.
I watched Georgia Rule the other day. (It was kind of an average movie and Lindsay Lohan arghhhhhhhhh but I found myself relating to heaps of it)It made me really angry- I sat there the whole time nearly in tears because I was so angry! The way that the mother reacted and responded when the daughter told her made me really angry. But I could relate to it as I didn't get a good response from my mom when i told her which i know is quite common, but it still hurts! And just other things in the movie I found myself relating to!
I totally agree with you Jess. One o my clients told me to see "Georgia Rule" because of the scenes with the mother's reaction to the abuse. It was pretty amazing. The mother did react the way so many mothers do react. The only difference was that in real life the mothers don't quite turn it around and reject the man the way it happened in the movie. I also thought that the Lohan character was a bit over the top, but that there were parts that were true to life- the way she felt she had to be sexual in order to even have any time with a guy... I also did not like the way she came onto the older guy, and I felt he was a bit unreal too, and once again Hollywood was making out the man to be the wonderful hero and the young girl the Lolita. But I have to agree with you that the mothers reaction was very real. Also it probably hurts too because in the movie the mother embraces her daugher in the end, and that does not usually happen. Thanks for your smart feedback on films! xo dr. p
I totally agree with you Jess. One o my clients told me to see "Georgia Rule" because of the scenes with the mother's reaction to the abuse. It was pretty amazing. The mother did react the way so many mothers do react. The only difference was that in real life the mothers don't quite turn it around and reject the man the way it happened in the movie. I also thought that the Lohan character was a bit over the top, but that there were parts that were true to life- the way she felt she had to be sexual in order to even have any time with a guy... I also did not like the way she came onto the older guy, and I felt he was a bit unreal too, and once again Hollywood was making out the man to be the wonderful hero and the young girl the Lolita. But I have to agree with you that the mothers reaction was very real. Also it probably hurts too because in the movie the mother embraces her daugher in the end, and that does not usually happen. Thanks for your smart feedback on films! xo dr. p
Dr. Patti, in one of your comments above, you state, "...they tried to get the family together in the end. I find this CRAZY and CRAZY-MAKING!! Any father who molests his daughter should be shunned and rejected totally from the family. Otherwise it is very confusing for the girl." I'm just curious ... do you feel the same about a brother who has sexually abused his sister? Should a a single mother of 3 (whose father wants nothing to do with the situation) allow her son to rot in foster care/juvenile detention or do what she can to facilitate his rehabilitation? Do you believe that young boys are even capable of rehabilitation? Thanks a bunch!
Wow I just watched Hard Candy! Such an amazing movie! Thanks for the recommendation xx
I just watched Hard Candy for the first time last night and I was blown away! It really messed with my mind, but there were so many powerful things Hayley (Ellen Page) said. I wish more people would watch this movie and try to see pedophilia from the victim's viewpoint!
The books by Alice Sebold are really good but very violent. Lucky is Alice's memoir. I had no idea she was brutally raped! I was shocked. It was so horrible but it was very well written and I really enjoyed it. One of my favorite books is The Lovely Bones which is about a girl who is brutally raped and then murdered. I highly recommend it. I just wanted to let everyone know that The Lovely Bones is being made into a movie that is coming out December 2011!
Finally bought and read "Lucky" by Alice Sebold. Wow, what a powerful memoir! I hope to check out all these other movies mentioned.
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