Wednesday, October 13

Ways you love yourself!

Hey there fabulous gals!! Many of you are here on this blog because someone distorted "love" in a totally FU*^@#%ED UP way! Your father/brother/cousin/uncle/stepfather told you he "loved" you as he sexually abused you! You have had to learn to really love yourself.  Let's talk about the ways in which you now love yourselves.  It can be as simple as putting on a sweater when you are cold, or as sweet as treating yourself to a cupcake when you feel like having a sweet. Share the love!

14 comments:

carolinegirl said...

I love myself by staying in shape and playing sports. That's when I feel the best about where I have been and where I am going!

Anonymous said...

Obviously this is hard for us survivors. The only thing I can figure that may qualify is when I grab a quiet moment for myself. It can be to read, watch a favorite tv program, or to pray. Even if it is just 5 minutes. It is something I can do for "me" and no one else.

Angel said...

I have to remind myself that I do have people who love me and say that to myself in the mirror in the mornings especially on the days that I don't love myself it helps that others do. I show myself love when I paint my nails I've recently gotten back into doing that. i also will treat myself to a shopping spree and get myself new clothes or jewerly ever now and again.

Dr Patti said...

COME ON GALS!! Ways to love yourself!!! Well one girl just placed first in a dance competition, another got her dead beat incest father to pay her tuition, another put her incest father in jail, another said good bye to her mother who thought she should just be abused. How about that long bath with bath salts, that wonderful walk in the woods with the leaves changing, the going to listen to some good music at a little cafe', how about traveling, gardening, making pottery! ( well those are ways I love myself!!) Tell us how you love yourselves! xoxoxox dr. p i am lovin you all!

Anonymous said...

Thinking about loving myself and what that feels/looks like is something I haven't been able to do yet.
For me that process has started off by simply being tolerant or nice to myself.
I let myself feel my feelings. I try not to get angry with myself over feeling a certain way or just plain having a bad day. I just try to recognize and acknowledge my feelings as much as possible without automatically telling myself that I'm dumb, I shouldn't feel this way, etc.
I think the areas that I have started to be nicer and more understanding of myself could eventually grow to be the areas where I actually love myself.

Sarah said...

I try to be more patient with myself and not be so hard on myself. Because I definitely can be. I compete in triathlons and run marathons and keep myself in shape. I am seeing a therapist and talking about the past junk and even though I have panic attacks and throw up after, somehow it seems to help and hopefully someday it will be easier. I am dating an amazing guy and I let him treat me well, it's weird to have someone care about me so much. But definitely a good thing to get used to.

Anonymous said...

I like to read. I like to sit on the lawn in the sunshine and read, read, read. I like to travel, I am from Australia and NYC is my favourite place yet. I am treating myself to a round the world trip with 2 girlfriends next year, thinking about all I have to look forward to makes me love life! I bought myself a dog and she is loyal, loving and such a dork, walking with her is one of my favourite things to do. I like the city. I like to feel invisible and have the city swallow me up in the hustle and bustle. I like to surf, I like the ocean. I like taking photos of the small things. I like to watch TV on DVD and I like to cook. I like sleepovers involving amazing amounts of chocolate with best friends and I like afternoon naps with my teddy. All ways I treat myself. :)

Erika said...

Dance, dance , dance!!! I love myself through dance! My body loves, and my mind... and I know that. So I love myself by doing what it loves, Dancing!

I have also learned that sometimes your body screams at you to take a break. Whether it means going for a 20 minute walk or run outside... listen to it. Listen to your body and thats how you will love it, and love yourself.

Dr Patti said...

Yes there are so many ways to love yourselves- dancing, singing, playing an instrument, swimming, reading, being with your friends- so many ways- keep them coming gals! xo dr. p

Angel said...

I'm trying to learn to love myself by nourishing my body. I've spent so many years hating it for what they did to me that I starved myself. I look at me and hate me but am trying so hard to love me instead.

I take bubble baths and love taking walks with my dog. I try to do fun things and hang out with my friends who make me feel like I matter when most of my family have showed me I didn't matter...

butterflykiddo said...

It can be hard at times to love myself, but I try to do good things for me. I like to get a hot cup of tea and sit down and enjoy it. I am starting to take care of my body. I eat healthy meals and exercise. I go to the doctor reguarly and get checked out... I even go to the gynocologist, which is no easy thing to do. Also, I do daily things like shower and brush my hair. It makes me feel better when I do this stuff. These are ways that I love myself.

Nissa said...

Here is a youtube link to see a dance video that I made about healing from abuse and learning to love myself and the gifts that come with the healing power of love. Thanks everyone! Love in many forms is possible. I was also confused and thought that my abuser loved me (that he was my "dad"), but I know now that he didn't love me and he is not capable of love. It's a hard lesson, but it frees us to find real love in ourselves, in friendships, in relationship, and as parents when that time comes. Love to you all!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OePplnT1p4Q&feature=share

Anonymous said...

I am showing myself love by trying to heal my hurts. Right now that is through writing a blog about my experiences, feelings and emotions. This is hard because for so long everthing in my life has been about keeping what happen to me a secret. Now I giving myself premission to talk. It's really helping. If anyone wants to check out my blog you can at - http://phoenixajournal.blogspot.com

Dr Patti said...

so many of you struggle with coming out- coming out with your stories of abuse - but think of it this way when it is out it is no longer locked inside of you. he tried to keep it locked up and made you feel as if you had some responsibility and therefore you had to hide. now you are out, and you can begin to love yourself even the parts that you feel he took from you. he did not take them - he just borrowed unkindly you own your soul, your heart, your body! xoxo dr. p


About "Invisible Girls"

United States
"Invisible Girls" tells the truth about sexual abuse as no other book has! Rather than me telling you how the book is touching girls around the world, I will tell you what they are saying! Now in 2009 we have our new and revised edition of "Invisible Girls" - we have added 100 pages, a chapter about prostituion as sex abuse, a chapter filled with emails recieved over the past 5 years- Please check out our 2nd edition! xo dr. p "Invisible Girls has saved my life. I was afraid that I was the only girl keeping these secrets, and when I read "Invisible Girls" I starting telling about my abuse, and suddenly I knew I could be alright"- Sue 18 years old "Invisible Girls" is short of a miracle- I read it whenever I feel alone. It helps me to deal and grow and go on."- Tamar 17 years old "Until I read "Invisible Girls" I was afraid to tell what happened to me. Now my mum is supportive and I know I can heal" Britney 14 years old