Friday, March 19

Girlthrive Inc. Giving Away 5 Copies of "Invisible Girls" !!

The "Invisible Girls" facebook page has almost 1,000 fans.  I am finding that some of you fans do not even have a copy of "Invisible Girls"- So list 5 ways you heal and thrive after abuse- If you already have received your copy and done this before but want to add ways to heal - go for it- but let's give the books to those who don't have their own yet! xoxoxoxo dr. p

14 comments:

Megan said...

1. I went to a crisis center and talked to someone so that I would be able to get on the track to healing.

2. I made up my mind that I was not going to live in defeat anymore.

3. I went to (and still go to) my follow-up therapy appointments and move heaven and earth to be sure I don't miss them because I know they are essential (for me) to keep moving and thriving and healing.

4. I read every book I could get my hands on so that I could find ideas from other women who had been through the same issues. That helped me feel less alone and much less ashamed.

5. I got involved in advocacy, because I know that when I speak out and use my voice to help others, there's a ripple effect... and the healing keeps going and going and going. My voice is a powerful tool, and I have learned to use it. THIS has been the best healing move I ever made.

Amber Grace McEwen said...

1. REALIZE that healing is an option and completely necessary and then decide that you are going to conciously seek to heal using all resources available to you. Books, the Internet, other survivors and absolutely seek professional help because friends and family are limited to how much they can help and understand.

2. FIND the things in life that represent you and do them. If that's camping or reading or swimming. For me, it was yoga and writing. Yoga helps me reconnect with the part of me I disconnected from when I was abused as a child. Writing helps me tell my story and share it with others. Whatever it is, do and don't stop doing it. These are the things that makes you unique and you love doing them. Naturally they will bring you joy and a sense of self in your life.

3. REMEMBER that you don't have to look at the healing journey as a chore or even something you have to do everyday. Sometimes, if you just want to be (insert age), then just be (insert age)!! Just being is an important part of the process too. Every concern doesn't need to be addressed today. Every issue doesn't need to be resolved today. Every person who wronged you doesn't need to be punished today. Everything will happen in it's own timing. Remember, some of the quirks you have from this experience, they're part of you and may never leave. Learn to love and embrace them. Me, I'm very outspoken because of what happened to me when I was a child. I love that part of myself and so should you! Not everything that happened was entirely bad.

4. KNOW! Everything you can about what happens after abuse or trauma of this nature. There may be issues present in your life that you would never think to associate with what happened. I suffer from an eating disorder, which is more under control now because I know what it's there. I clench my teeth and have severly weakened them from doing so. I'm hyper-sensitive to what's going on around me at all times. These issues are going to make for a bumpy journey, but understand that these bumps will be there and prepare for them as best you can, but also know that the gold at the end of this rainbow is richer than anything you've ever imagined. You'll be saying thank you Universe for allowing me to make this journey!

5. ACCEPT the healing journey as a part of your life until the last breath you take. Healing from sexual abuse is like healing from a virus: just because you feel better, doesn't mean you stop doing whatever it is your doing!

Sabelle said...

I bought your book about two years ago. It was the turning point in my decision to heal. I was so inspired by the book and I wanted to share your wisdom with anyone who would listen. So, I lent the book to a professor at my college and never got it back, even with several requests. I want to be able to use it as a guide, a reference and a visual to remind me that healing is possible. Invisible Girls was my bible.

1. I sought our art therapy and go every week. I picked up an extra shift at work just so I could pay the $60.00/session.

2. I am beginning to create a "safe place" for myself. I still live with my abuser. I just made a door knob decor saying "knock/go away" to try an introduce the idea of privacy in my home.

3. I blog on Pandora's site not only to vent and get advice but also to share my story and hopefully help other girls and boys realize that healing is possible.

4. I work in a pediatric hospital. Many of my patients have been abused. My co-workers can be jaded and many are callus to working with such patients. I ALWAYS advocate for the patient. Last week I even talked to an attending physician expressing my concern with his biased care for a patient with a trauma history.

5. I read everything I can about CSA and try to absorb any information that could further my healing potential.

Thank you Dr. P!

Anonymous said...

A'myah
~I talk to a crisis center when I start having flashbacks
~I went to therapy, and talked about how I was sexually abused.
~I promised myself no matter how much I love somebody if they lay a hand on my babies they will be out of our life permanetly
~I am writing a book about my sexual abuse and the other form of abuse I had to indure growing up called "A mile in my shoes"
~I try my hardest to spread the word out to people in my comunitty that we need to stop Abuse of all forms

Anonymous said...

This my seem weird, but I do not blame no one for what happened to me. I knew better, so it is not his fault but my own. In order to deal, I take walks, read, listen to music and write. I day dream about being a singer, guitarist, a dancer or a figure skater. Also, I have made my visits to a minimum, and I rely on my faith.

Kate said...

-I first admited that I was sexually abused and seeked therapy. I hid this fact from everyone and even burried it so deep that I think I hid it from myself.

-I have joined several groups that involve women who have been sexually abused and have read their stories and blogs.

-I have started telling my story to my close friends and have been sharing with them how hard it has been dealing with this my whole life.

-I have started a journal to write down how I am feeling and when I realize or make a connection to a behavior I have to how it is directly related to my abuse.

-I have started to let down my "wall" and let people in to help me. I realize I cannot move on with any relationship until I heal myself and to do that, I have to let the wall down.

-And yes, I am scared to death!!!

H. M. Lowe said...

- The first step for me was telling my best friend. This lead to a whole bunch of people knowing because of circumstances, but it worked out in the end. This first step also included admitting it was true to myself.

- Second was the therapist. It took me about a month before I really even let my therapist see the real me but I've been going for two years now and do my best to make sure I don''t miss any appointments.

-Next was the trial where my abuser was sentenced to three life terms and 135 years in prison. It was hell I'm not going to lie but it made a world of difference to my healing knowing her can't ever get to my little cousins.

- Then came the learning to live without the family I once had. Though I have my parents and a few cousins and others left the majority of my family is in denial that my step-grandfather abused me and my cousins. So that was a hard step for me. I'm still getting through this one...

-Finally, I would have to say accepting that I can't do this on my own anymore. I do need medication to help me deal with my panic attacks and night terrors. And I do need people to know what happen to me, because it explains why I am the way I am.

Dr Patti said...

Ok, everyone's comments are wonderful- But and this is a big but... Anonymous said :

This my seem weird, but I do not blame no one for what happened to me. I knew better, so it is not his fault but my own. In order to deal, I take walks, read, listen to music and write. I day dream about being a singer, guitarist, a dancer or a figure skater. Also, I have made my visits to a minimum, and I rely on my faith.

Well dear, you NEED this book the most. Because you are actually blaming yourself. Honey it is not your fault. Please email me your mailing address so that i can mail you the book.

And on another note, I am so proud of all of you wonderful girls! xo dr. p

sagemunky said...

I dont have the book and I have never read it! I just found this site and I am so glad I did.
My five ways...

1. I make a real effort to take care of my appearance, because I stopped after the abuse started.

2. I actively tell myself good things about myself. "You are funny. You are pretty. You are worth it." Thoughts that my abuser took away.

3. I take joy in small things like flowers and reading. These are things I looked over when I was in the darkest of the dark, but now I fully enjoy.

4. I keep in contact with my therapist to this day. I stopped seeing her weekly last year, but didnt want to loose the connection. Its not that I am scared I will need her again, but more of a keeping myself safe.

5. I abolish shame.
In every area I can.

Thanks!

Dr Patti said...

Okay gals- send me a private email at drpatti@girlthrive.com so I can get your address and send you a book! xpx p

Angel said...

love this post, great idea! I finally figured out how to subscribe to your blog :) I had to create my own on here.

1. write poems about what happened (will post them on my newly created blog on here)

2. I will use the online hotline and regular hotlines when needed. I don't have access to counseling services otherwise.

3. I read your book when i need reassurance.

4. I create graphical art on the computer

5. I try and be positive.

I already have a copy of the book but thought I'd post mine anyway :)

Genvieve-Louise said...

I Gotta' Let It Go
Genvieve-Louise


Every time I saw his face
I was haunted by the memories
Of a time so long ago
Of guilt and shame
And ache and blame
Of a summer filled with pain
And I could never let it go

Oh, but I gotta' let it go
For I am stronger than this
It's a new day
It's a new time
And God is by my side
He forgave everything
Every sin and shame
God is by my side
And I gotta' let it go
Oh, I gotta' let it go

I was twenty-one
And on the run
For thoughts that bind
Had plagued my mind
Self-destruction
And a heart of hate
Kept me captive
Held my fate

He and his wife
They opened their life
Opened their home
Led a young group
Following Christ
To listen, to teach, to guide
They were there to support
In them we could confide

I had told him
Many a thing
Trusted in him
Relied on his strength
His counsel
His prayers
He talked me down
From harmful deeds
He gathered me up
In arms so strong
Comforted me
Made me feel safe
From the predators
In my mind
What I did not know
What I did not see
The worst predator of all
Was he

Oh, but I gotta' let it go
For I am stronger than this
It's a new day
It's a new time
And God is by my side
He forgave everything
Every sin and shame
God is by my side
And I gotta' let it go
Oh, I gotta' let it go

He used me
Abused me
Stole my innocence
My virtue, my pride
Took me for a ride
Vulnerable and lost
Was I
My fault
My fault
Was my cry
Head spinning
Knees weak
Stomach ready to heave
My fault
My fault
Was my cry

Oh, but I gotta' let it go
For I am stronger than this
It's a new day
It's a new time
And God is by my side
He forgave everything
Every sin and shame
God is by my side
And I gotta' let it go
Oh, I gotta' let it go

When all was said and done
And so tired from the run
I opened my mouth
And spoke out the shame
I told the truth
I lay in the blame
“Shameful, shameful
You have done”
Was the pressing cry of some
I lay at their mercy
And hung my head low
And let them judge me
Just the same
But he used me
Abused me
Stole my innocence
My virtue, my pride
Took me for a ride
Vulnerable and lost
Was I
"My fault,
My fault,"
Was a Lie

The peace
The freedom
The weightlessness
Of silence
God is by my side
I have let it go…

Angel said...

Genvieve-Louise that was an amazing poem.

Natasha said...

1) I take care of myself by eating. I developed an eating disorder to cope with my abuse, and now, I make sure I feed myself so that I can fight the afteraffects of the abuse.
2) I listen to music... it brings me comfort and motivates me to change something, depending on my mood. It is my refuge and my anchor to RIGHT NOW.
3) I work hard at my job... not too hard, but I am proud of what I do because I chose my career and have put myself through school so I can be a counselor.
4) I talk to friends. Especially when I don't feel like reaching out.
5) I journal all of those awful tormenting flashbacks and night terrors I deal with and then talk to my counselor about them. I am learning how to protect the abused ones and stay strong today.


About "Invisible Girls"

United States
"Invisible Girls" tells the truth about sexual abuse as no other book has! Rather than me telling you how the book is touching girls around the world, I will tell you what they are saying! Now in 2009 we have our new and revised edition of "Invisible Girls" - we have added 100 pages, a chapter about prostituion as sex abuse, a chapter filled with emails recieved over the past 5 years- Please check out our 2nd edition! xo dr. p "Invisible Girls has saved my life. I was afraid that I was the only girl keeping these secrets, and when I read "Invisible Girls" I starting telling about my abuse, and suddenly I knew I could be alright"- Sue 18 years old "Invisible Girls" is short of a miracle- I read it whenever I feel alone. It helps me to deal and grow and go on."- Tamar 17 years old "Until I read "Invisible Girls" I was afraid to tell what happened to me. Now my mum is supportive and I know I can heal" Britney 14 years old