I have had to honor to work with some of the amazing girls in the G.E.M.S. program here in New York City. G.E.M.S. stands for girls educational mentoring services. It is a wonderful program that helps to get girls out "of the life" . For those of you that do not know, "in the life" means the life of prostitution. I have learned from these brave girls that they had no other options, they did not have loving supportive homes, parents who loved and cared for them. They were vulnerable. Think about it... sexual abuse involved being forced to have sex with someone you are not ready to have sex with, do not choose to have sex with, do not want to have sex with, basically it is rape. Think about the 15 year old girl sent into a hotel room and a 50 year old man comes in, and says "Give me a blow job now." She does it- she escapes into her own world somewhere very far away from this gross man, this blow job. One girl told me when she had to "do tricks" for "johns" she basically exported herself to Hawaii on a beautiful beach and swam with the dolphins. See, girls forced into prostitution also "check out" while they are being abused. Just like incest survivors. So next time you hear someone call a prostitute a "hoe" "hooker" "whore" try to correct them. Tell them, those girls are abused too. xo dr. patti
Thursday, March 5
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About "Invisible Girls"
- Dr Patti
- United States
- "Invisible Girls" tells the truth about sexual abuse as no other book has! Rather than me telling you how the book is touching girls around the world, I will tell you what they are saying! Now in 2009 we have our new and revised edition of "Invisible Girls" - we have added 100 pages, a chapter about prostituion as sex abuse, a chapter filled with emails recieved over the past 5 years- Please check out our 2nd edition! xo dr. p "Invisible Girls has saved my life. I was afraid that I was the only girl keeping these secrets, and when I read "Invisible Girls" I starting telling about my abuse, and suddenly I knew I could be alright"- Sue 18 years old "Invisible Girls" is short of a miracle- I read it whenever I feel alone. It helps me to deal and grow and go on."- Tamar 17 years old "Until I read "Invisible Girls" I was afraid to tell what happened to me. Now my mum is supportive and I know I can heal" Britney 14 years old
13 comments:
i don't know if this is the right place to ask this Question but i cant wait any longer and i have to ask someone so sorry if it is out of place. this is the question if you did not say 'no' because you know it would only make things worse is it still rape? take into aconite that the girl is 15 and the man 23.
It is fine to ask the question here. Of course it does not matter if you can say the words "NO" . If you do not want the physical contact and did not feel that you could say no because it would make matters worse, sounds like rape. A 15 year old girl with a 23 year old man is rape. It is illegal, he can go to jail for this. My guess is that the reason you are asking is because you feel somehow responsible for the rape. Not your fault!! xo dr. p
I wrote the previous question and it has taken years to work up the courage to even ask it,your answer has been very helpful,so thank you with all my heart. This is the closest i have been to telling anybody and fear has always stopped me.
I am so proud of you for asking your question on the blog, and I hope some other girls may read it and also add to your question. Keep writing to us, and now that you know it was not your fault and you were in fact raped, you can begin to stop putting any blame on yourself. Thanks so much for sharing!! xo dr.p
in the years after i was attacked by a stranger at 15, i had many partners, 99% of them one night stands. some were initiated by me for god knows what reason, some i just didnt care so lay there, others i didn't want to be there and struggled to get away and was often told 'all you have to say is no', but i could never say it. i was given a chance to get away, but could never open my mouth to take it. i wish i knew why.
I do not know why people do the things they do but if you are asking for my opinion i think the reason that you did not say no is because if you say no and they do not stop then it is definitely rape, but if you don't say no to them then you can pretend that this is what you wanted and you will never know if they would have stopped or not because you never asked. I might be wrong, just my thoughts on the matter, and i am so sorry for what happened to you when you where 15 i wish i could take away your pain, but i can not no one can and i am sorry.
Can a person heal alone and never have to tell anyone?
I think that healing is a personal thing. But if you are on this blog and reading this site you are definitley not alone! Just telling a blog or calling a hotline anomously helps- just writing in your journal helps- running, dancing, singing, making art all help heal. xo dr. p
Thats such a cool thing for you to be involved with Dr P! It must be hard, but rewarding! And I am sure the girls really appreciate it! I have never thought about prostitution in this way before, but it totally makes sense!
i too never really said no, but i guess it must have been clear when i was pushing him off and crying. I mean i though he was so much cooler and older. i was 14 and he was 19 and it just seemed like a great thing to do at the time. its funny because he was the nicest one out of all of them. maybe thats why i reject any guy who asks me out or likes me. i mean after i was pretty much a slut having one night stands, i just didn't think i deserved to have sex with anyone who liked me. i didn't evan like it. i would just lay there and pretend to be somewhere else. Im 17 now and i know i mean drugs are really the only thing that helps me esccape reality which is pretty much pathetic but i guesss i am that. i just cant help but wonder what if i didnt go out that night you know? and i know you will say its not my fault...but i mean it is. i think. im just confused.
and this dosent make any sense ad the most innapropriate place to write this. so i am sorry. i just needed to write it all out .....so sorry again
Sweety, I am going to post a blog about this and post some of your blog- this way we will get more feedback and support for you from other girls. I know that other girls are going through what you are going through, and I also know that other girls have come through it and are doing great now. So let's get you more feedback! xoxo dr. p
Forced prostitution is sexual abuse. However, many women simlpy prostitute themselves to make some money. They find it much easier to spread their legs than to look for a decent job. It could be your neighbour who is a semi-professional and you never know.
Dear Anonymous, I know where you are coming from. This is pretty much what our culture has taught us. Besides my work, I have done extensive research on this subject. You would be very surprised to know that over 90 percent of the women who are selling their bodies for money have been abused in some form, almost all sexually abused. Prostitution is not fun, it is demoralizing. It is nothing like the movie "Pretty Woman" - x dr p
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