Hi Gals! Please become a fan on our facebook page for "Invisible Girls: The Truth About Sexual Abuse" !! Here is what is posted there- Our second edition is printed and ready to go out to the book stores all over the country any minute now!! I just got my copy and it is BEAUTIFUL! Seal Press has generously agreed to give away 5 copies of our new edition !! Here is the catch, the first 5 gals aged 13-23 years old please list 5 ways you are healing/ have healed from sexual abuse!! These copies are donated to you through my publisher Seal Press, but look for more give aways through Girlthrive.Inc. !! xo dr. p
Tuesday, August 18
GIVING AWAY 5 COPIES OF THE NEW AND REVISED EDITION OF INVISIBLE GIRLS!!
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About "Invisible Girls"
- Dr Patti
- United States
- "Invisible Girls" tells the truth about sexual abuse as no other book has! Rather than me telling you how the book is touching girls around the world, I will tell you what they are saying! Now in 2009 we have our new and revised edition of "Invisible Girls" - we have added 100 pages, a chapter about prostituion as sex abuse, a chapter filled with emails recieved over the past 5 years- Please check out our 2nd edition! xo dr. p "Invisible Girls has saved my life. I was afraid that I was the only girl keeping these secrets, and when I read "Invisible Girls" I starting telling about my abuse, and suddenly I knew I could be alright"- Sue 18 years old "Invisible Girls" is short of a miracle- I read it whenever I feel alone. It helps me to deal and grow and go on."- Tamar 17 years old "Until I read "Invisible Girls" I was afraid to tell what happened to me. Now my mum is supportive and I know I can heal" Britney 14 years old
21 comments:
I am 23 years old, and I would be honored to receive a copy of the new and revised edition of "Invisible Girls." My name is Rachel, and listed below are 5 ways in which I am healing/have healed from sexual abuse.
1. I contribute to others - I volunteer in a neonatal intensive care unit rocking babies and loving them back to health. Not only is the safe touch good for them, but it makes me feel like I am worth something and have the power to not only help myself but to help others.
2. I have surrounded myself with a wonderful group of friends - this group of friends is amazing!!! not only am i able to be open and honest about most of my feelings, but i can distract myself from the painful feelings by having fun with them.
3. i am pursuing a career as a social worker - i have always felt that things happen for a reason. i feel that this assualt happened for a reason because i am now able to give back and help others. i believe that i am a more empathic compassioante person because of the trauma i survived.
4.i organized a donation drive to collect clean socks and toiletries for survivors of sexual assault and rape - i call them patient comfort kits and these are given to trauma survivors after rape kits are done in the er. i feel that helping others is key to my healing.
5. one other thing that has been extremely helpful in my healing, as silly as it sounds, is the use of ice. grabbing ice cubes, a bag of frozen peas, or a frozen orange helps me to ground myself even during the worst flashbacks and body memories.
i am very wxcited for the new edition!!
one way that heal is volunteering in my comunity. i work on the crisis line as well as mentor a survivors group. doing these things makes me feel good about myself, and i am very excited to be sharing my experiance to help others heal!
second i make sure i do something special for myself everyday, even if it is just taking a bath i make sure i have me time, it helps me to release the stress from that day and press on to the next (now this is something i just started and so far is really helping)
third i go to therapy, the best thing for me right now! talking about it each week releases pressure off of me, therapy is what really keeps me for going insane, i look forward each week to release my load!
forth, i keep a strong faith, God has helped me through so much, i know that most survivors are first to blame God for it all, because if was such a caring God why would he let this happen, but the Bible says everything happens for a reason, and maybe we dont find out what it is till we are older but i feel like God let me go through this to make me stronger and maybe help others who need some one who just understands, anything is possible if you just Trust in Him, when i was going through the abuse of course i asked Him why and at times hated Him for putting me through it all, but in the end He still stuck by me, when i lost my family and was torn away from my friends God was there to hole my hand and tell me everything is going to be okay, and although i still have my bad days and my days where i feel God is far away i realize that God is ALWAYS near me its me who loses faith in Him, God will always be the one i turn to first, because He will show me the way!
fifth, i make sure i have lots of people who care and understand, and if i need help with something i know that i can always turn to one of them, when it was time for my abuser to get out they made sure i was too busy to think about it, they are truly special to me!
I am so excited that another book is coming out!
1. I'm healing through sexual abuse by going to therapy (talk therapy & art therapy) and working through some of the issues the abuse has caused me.
2. I joined a local sexual abuse survivor support group and it has been a really positive experience. Through going to this group, I've learned that I really don't have to be ashamed anymore.
3. I've been volunteering a lot for a child advocacy/sexual abuse prevention non-profit, and it's been really fun. It's also nice to know that in a small way, I'm reaching out to people and inviting them to break their silence.
4. It really helps me a lot to read books about people that have been abused or books about abuse. I feel like I learn something new each time I read one, and it's like I've healed just a little bit more. It's also nice to read what I call "abuse success stories" - or stories of women that have been abused, but that have healed and gone on to live really healthy, fulfilling lives.
5. The last way that I am healing is that I'm learning that shame doesn't have to keep me from speaking my truth, it doesn't have to have a hold on me forever. With time and patience, I can break it's hold of me.
hi!
my name is nechama, i'm 22 years old, and my five things are:
1. connecting with other survivors
2. volunteering on a survivors' website
3. therapy, therapy, therapy
4. writing
5. keeping track of my accomplishments, so that i can see how much i've grown
it's so cool to see the different things that we all do to heal!
it´s so wonderful to read all those different healing stories:) and it warms my heart to see that so many survivors are helping other survivors(of any kind of trauma). Helping others has also helped me a great deal in the healing process.
Keep up the good work girls!!
xo Harpa, Iceland
Five Ways I Am Healing:
It's taking time, time, time, but I'm getting there..
1. Talking about it, more and more. It helps to process things out loud, rather than in my head all of the time. Confiding in a friend or trusted adult is key.
2. Writing. This has always been my form of expression, but writing specifically about it helps. And seeing it in print is much different than I thought.
3. Reading and Writing on this Blog!! Hearing other girls' stories and their ways to find freedom really encourages me to find my own.
4. Praying, praying, praying. I am working on my heart and my faith, so that I can overcome all of the pain that I've been burdened with for so many years.
5. Researching. I've looked up tons of websites, books, and pamphlets that help me understand sexual abuse and how it affects us. It's made things clearer and I am beginning to understand just how much impact this has on me and other girls.
Thank you, all of you, for posting your own ways to heal. It gives me more ways and more ideas on how to beat this!! :)
Well gals looks like we have six winners!! Can you please post on the fan page of "Invisible Girls"?I am not sure how to do that- My publisher Seal Press will be mailing you the Second Edition!! xxx dr. p
1. I am slowly learning to accept my past.
2. I am learning to face my fears.
3. I am in the process of learning to handle numerous things that I find triggering.
4. I have learnt to understand others pain and anguish.
5. I am really slowly learning to accept myself and eventually to like myself.
Girls keep that healing coming! Girlthrive Inc. will give out more free copies of our second edition- !! I am so proud of you all!!xx dr. p
I have your first edition book but felt I should put my 5 ways of healing down as it may be helpful to others. I'm 22 years old and expecting my first baby at the end of november of this year.
1. TIME - time helped a lot in my healing as well as being takin into the state system. During this time I was away from my abuser and able to start healing with his presence, because to be honest trying to heal in the home you where hurt in especially with the abuser still living there is almost impossible.
2. TALKING - talking about it helped alot especially in a community where it is still a hush hush keep in the closet kind of thing. I'll be the first to admit the first few times talikng about it is very hard. I remember the first few times I talked about it I would try so hard to stay strong, I couldn't look at the person I was talking to for fear of crying (which I did anyways) I would cry so hard you could barely understand me. But honest to God the more you talk about it the easier it is to tell your story again as well as you noticing your NOT at fault.
3. SHARING - sharing my story not only to therapist and foster parnets but sharing it with other surviors helped me because I knew that by telling my story and letting them see and hear how far Ive come that they can to and that not all hope is lost. I feel sharing is important because not only are you telling your story but on how you healed from it and by do this your helping the other surviors know that in time and it WILL happen for them to.
4. UNDERSTANDING - to heal one needs to not only know but understand that they are NOT at fault in any way what so ever. Even if you never said no or stop the fact is it is NOT your fault no matter with the perpertrator says or your mom or anyone else. The prepertrator has NO RIGHT what so EVER to touch you in any way that makes you feel uncomfortable he is the adult and you were the child. Understanding this is also another big step towards healing because i feel that if you still feel your some how at fault one will not be fully healed because your still carrying that USELESS GUILT with you when you never should have to, to begin with.
5. LISTENING - listen to those that are trying to help you with an open mind. listen to other people stories as well as your therapist. I'll admitt when I first went to a therapist I was so full of anger and felt she had no idea what I was feeling or what I was going through because she did not go through what I went through, but later learned that you dont have to experince it to help or have a generally idea of how one feels becuase no two stories are alike nor will two people who went through the abuse feel the EXACT SAME WAY they may have similaritys but not always the same. listening to others and willing to let their words in also helped in my path towards healing.
I have your first edition book but felt I should put my 5 ways of healing down as it may be helpful to others. I'm 22 years old and expecting my first baby at the end of november of this year.
1. TIME - time helped a lot in my healing as well as being takin into the state system. During this time I was away from my abuser and able to start healing with his presence, because to be honest trying to heal in the home you where hurt in especially with the abuser still living there is almost impossible.
2. TALKING - talking about it helped alot especially in a community where it is still a hush hush keep in the closet kind of thing. I'll be the first to admit the first few times talikng about it is very hard. I remember the first few times I talked about it I would try so hard to stay strong, I couldn't look at the person I was talking to for fear of crying (which I did anyways) I would cry so hard you could barely understand me. But honest to God the more you talk about it the easier it is to tell your story again as well as you noticing your NOT at fault.
3. SHARING - sharing my story not only to therapist and foster parnets but sharing it with other surviors helped me because I knew that by telling my story and letting them see and hear how far Ive come that they can to and that not all hope is lost. I feel sharing is important because not only are you telling your story but on how you healed from it and by do this your helping the other surviors know that in time and it WILL happen for them to.
4. UNDERSTANDING - to heal one needs to not only know but understand that they are NOT at fault in any way what so ever. Even if you never said no or stop the fact is it is NOT your fault no matter with the perpertrator says or your mom or anyone else. The prepertrator has NO RIGHT what so EVER to touch you in any way that makes you feel uncomfortable he is the adult and you were the child. Understanding this is also another big step towards healing because i feel that if you still feel your some how at fault one will not be fully healed because your still carrying that USELESS GUILT with you when you never should have to, to begin with.
5. LISTENING - listen to those that are trying to help you with an open mind. listen to other people stories as well as your therapist. I'll admitt when I first went to a therapist I was so full of anger and felt she had no idea what I was feeling or what I was going through because she did not go through what I went through, but later learned that you dont have to experince it to help or have a generally idea of how one feels becuase no two stories are alike nor will two people who went through the abuse feel the EXACT SAME WAY they may have similaritys but not always the same. listening to others and willing to let their words in also helped in my path towards healing.
ONE: Very Important -Find a trusting "family" comprised of whoever you want, friends, neighbors, teachers. Find them and know that you can turn to them no matter what the situation is, what time it is. You need a network or people to help pull your pieces back together.
TWO: Get a counselor. I personally find it hard to talk and open up about what happened. BUt with a counselor I know I am safe. That is why I am there and he understands my past. I am free to talk and to show emotion.
THREE: Allow yourself to have fun. It took me a long time to let go of the stress and worries even for an hour. But when I did, I caught myself laughing, playing games, jumping in the summer time lake... let yourself be free.
FOUR: Write or journal. I tend to write a lot of poetry. It allows me to get the anger, sadness, and frustration out. Through my poetry I can connect with other survivors and that is great experience.
FIVE: BREATH BREATH BREATH!!!! LIfe gets overwhelming. I hate those moments, but I have found that just taking one deep breath and slowly letting it out calms me quickly.
okay these are two extra tips...
SIX: Find a passion - something you love doing, and pour your emotions into it. For me my passion is dance and I have put my sadness, anger, joy, frustration.... all of it into dance. It makes me focus and has helped me to become a better dancer. Your physical body and emotional body is linked- they work together. Allow them to work together.
SEVEN: For me ... I need to find my faith in God and come to terms with my past and know that God had a reason for it and some day I will know why.
Those are my FIVE aka (Seven) tips. ENJOY!
girls you have all "won" copies of the new edition. send me emails with your mailing addresses. The first five winners get the book from the publisher, the rest from Girlthrive. Inc. xoxoxox keep that healing coming! xo dr. p
Hi there, I am still waiting for some of your emails with your addresses! drpatti@girlthrive.com - xoxox dr p
Wow, Dr. Patti! Phenomenal work! You are such a blessing to survivors. Keep up the great work! :D
Hi, I just turned 24 and whether or not you are giving away more copies of the book I would like to share my "top 5" list of healing. (Yes, I would love a copy! I have just started reading it from the library.) I agree with many tips the other girls have given and would like to add a few that are similar and different.
1. Yoga and network chiropractic care. From years of keeping secrets, I stored so much tension in my body! Practicing yoga and working with an understanding chiropractor has helped me release some tension and find my safe body places.
2. Acting in the Vagina Monologues. The group of young women who acted in this play are like a special coincidental family and I made some good friends on the cast. Also, being on stage for the stories of many different women, including stories with sexual abuse, helped me be empathetic and realize the impact of my own story so I could start to tell it. My vagina wants justice, safety, and healing.
3. Being outside and screaming or laughing really loudly when I need to. Having friends who will do this with me. For me, screaming into a pillow feels awful and stifling. Screaming outside feels powerful, good, and helps me when I can't cry.
4. I use smells as counter-triggers, or as ways to come back into safety when I am freaking out. I really like lavender oil, cedar oil, and the smell of play-dough.
5. Music! This year I've spent a lot of time listening to music from artists who sound like they know about healing, suffering, anger, and being an outsider. Speaking of outsiders, I love the book Hello Cruel World by Kate Bornstein. It's a radical lifeline.
All of these "top five" support talking through my stories and fears with my therapist and close friends...seriously yoga is an awesome way to connect to the good in your body! Find a teacher you feel comfortable with or a women's class if it feels better.
Of course there are more friends, and books, and my therapist, and so many things. Still, that is my top 5 and I wish you all the best!~H
I'm 22 and started healing three years ago when I shared my story with Dr P and recieved a copy of the first edition of Invisible Girls. It's a long, hard struggle, with lots of bumps, but I know that in the end it will be worth it!
The 5 things I do that are helping me to heal is
1- Finding an AMAZING therapist who I have learnt to trust and be open with. I have shared more with her than I ever thought possible, and have made so much progress with her.
2- Livejournal. I have an amazing bunch of girls on there who I am honoured to call my friends. They offer so much love, support and understanding, even from the other side of the world. They give me unconditional support and help give me perspective when I lose it.
3- Listening to music. When I find my head going a million miles and hour and my thoughts are out of control, I can loose myself in my Ipod. Sometimes it's the words, other time I try and focus on a specific instrument or pitch.
4- Using Invisible Girls as my Bible. It's always there to refer to and I find new and helpful things in it everytime I read it. I'm not just saying this, I honestly don't know where I would be if I hadn't discovered Girlthrive, Invisible Girls and Dr Patti.
5- Drawing. It lets me express whats inside me, when often words fail. It's intensely private, and often not pretty, happy artwork, but it's extremely theraputic and such a good release.
Keep those healing lists coming in! Girlthrive Inc. has received a generous donation and I can donate more books- So just keep on listing your brilliant ways of healing. xx dr. p
One thing I will add (I posted in September too) is that I am working with youth in a middle school and at first that was a sort of escape for me, but as I continue to heal, I am able to resolve more challenges and connect to the students better. Before I realized that what happened to me was abuse and the way that I dealt with it was to hide inside myself, I would get annoyed with students and avoid conflicts. Now, as I am healing, I have more to offer to my students as far as problem solving and understanding them.
I think your insight is wonderful Heidi. It also sounds as if the kids are a gift to you, and they showed you that sensitivity and caring are all a part of healing. You have learned that dealing with conflict is how to resolve it. xx dr. p
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