Invisible Girls: The Truth About Sexual Abuse

                             Goes Audio!!!

Attention all girls! We are making an audio tape of our book- I am so so so excited! I will be reading my parts that I have written - and different girls from all over the world will be reading the stories and the "Ask Dr Patti" and the email sections- We need your voices added to ours - please email me at drpatti@girlthrive.com 
I thought about this from the feedback from our wonderful deaf gals who listen to the book on audio and all the tapes are so bland- and we know that "Invisible Girls" is anything but bland! xoxoxox dr. p

Long Time No Post!

Wow I did not realize that it has been so long since I posted. I receive posts from you all for our different posts so I know that you are reading. It is update time. Nicki is putting together wonderful Girlthrive packages for all our members, with our T- Shirts, Mary Fahey Krause my most active Board Member is making beautiful scented candles, and Nicki is making bracelets. So expect your healing thriving packages this April being Sex Abuse Awareness month! I applied for a grant specifically for  for Girlthrive Scholarships and WE GOT IT!! So put your thinking caps on and think about ways to heal, ways to expand, ways to be creative and think about applying for a Girlthrive Scholarship. Some of the Scholarships recently have been for a guitar, a netbook, funds toward a flight to a dear friend, vet bills for doggies, manicures and pedicures, funds for nursing books.   We have some extra funds now, so please feel free to apply! Just email me at drpatti@girlthrive.com  xoxox dr. p

girlthrive membership blowing up!

Hi there, Nicki is doing such a wonderful job with the Girlthrive membership !! Nicki is putting together a membership package- with our amazing Tee - Shirts- Ms. Mary our top Board Member is making candles and body oil just for Girlthrive! The scents will be designed with herbs and oils that stand for courage and strength.   So take the time and email Nicki at Nicole Mckenzie nicole.mckenzie1@yahoo.com and become a member of GIRLTHRIVE! xo dr.p

Book Club - Let's Read and Talk About "Invisible Girls" Post By Nicki

Invisible girls has touched us all, but now we have a chance for a virtual book club with girls from all over the globe to share our thoughts and feelings- issue by issue, choosing topics and chapters and dr.P  will be right there with us. This week we'll start discussing Chapter 4… "Finding Your Truth: Facing The Emotional Aftershocks and the Beginning of Healing".  My view of life is that as a survivor I can now determine how I live my life! No matter how hard my day is I always try to remind myself that I'm a survivor and so I can take on anything! Turning my famine into fortune means that I am now calling on the strength that helped me survive to help me heal! How do you turn your famine into fortune? 

FAMILY REJECTION:::

I keep hearing more and more from girls all over the world about how their families reject them after they disclose their abuse. I have to say it is one of the sickest parts of incest. How a mother can reject her daughter and choose the abuser makes me want to lock those mothers up and throw away the key!  Your thoughts..... xxx dr. p

Parole Hearing

I just got back from Rhode Island from a parole hearing with a Girlthrive girl.  She was magnificent and I learned a lot. I learned that in the State of Rhode Island at a parole hearing for a sexual offender you are not limited in what you say. Many times in court before the abuser is locked up, you could be terrified, but now a couple of years later you have more courage, perhaps therapy and you can say what ever you want. Our girl let the parole board what a monster her abuser was. And they told her she was brave and strong and wonderful. THEY DENIED HIS PAROLE.!! Do any of you have experiences to share about court or parole or reporting your abuser? We would love to hear your experiences with this. xxx dr. p

Girlthrive Tee's

Girlthrive Inc. is partnering with a wonderful young fashion designer from Philadelphia to make our Girlthrive Tee's! Reese Juel has agreed to volunteer her time and energy to design our tee's!  These Tee's will be given to all scholarship girls, all donors, and sold on the site.

So far Nicki and I have come up with I AM A GIRLTHRIVE GIRL! and I HELPED A GIRL THRIVE!


So unleash your creative energy and send us your ideas! Blog us your ideas and let us know your age too! xo dr. p

Please Review Girlthrive Inc. on Great Non-Profits!

Girlthrive Inc. is growing and helping more and more girls every day. Please review Girlthrive on Great Non-Profits so that we can apply for more and more funding and help more and more girls! First click the link to our brochure and then please go to the link for Great Non-Profits and write a review . You are all a part of the Girlthrive community! Love xo dr. patti

http://www.girlthrive.com/donate/Brochure.pdf

http://greatnonprofits.org/reviews/girlthrive-inc/

Beautiful Post by Nicki!

my resolution- No longer living between my hat and my heels.

by Nicole Mckenzie on Thursday, October 28, 2010 at 12:55pm

Here I am thriving and surviving and I make a resolution that I will do what I must to help as many victims of abuse as possible.  No sooner than i make this resolution and i start to speak out...suddenly I begin to receive backlash from people who everyone would assume to be the last people to do such a thing.  One statement I heard that almost brought me to a very quick stop was "In your quest to help other people you are hurting alot of innocent people."  You know, I really had to stop and think about things and it became so clear that everyone is happiest when an incest survivor suffers in silence so that no one asks questions. 

My message to everyone is that, that is my point...people need to ask questions and stop leaving these girls and boys to suffer.  apparently no one remembers that I never asked to be abused nor did I ask to be separated from the people who truly loved me.  To all my abuse survivors it is never your fault...it is the abusers fault...Sadly, the truth is that many survivors are forced to into being victims of suffering in silence because when they speak out people ask questions.

WELL I HAVE NEWS FOR THE WOLRD.  PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ASK QUESTIONS, THAT IS THE ONLY WAY YOU WILL LEARN HOW TO IDENTIFY WHEN SOMEONE IS BEING ABUSED.  One of the things alot of people always say to me is that they couldn't tell I was being abused.  Truth is that not all sexual abuse victims are as obvious as depicted in "Precious".  Many of us, live between our hat our heels.

But here is my resolution to my resolution...I WILL NO LONGER LIVE BETWEEN MY HAT AND MY HEELS TO PLEASE ANYONE...

I WILL NOT KEEP SILENT....

I WILL OPEN PANDORA'S BOX (as keeping it closed keeps my hope hidden)...

I WILL DO WHAT IT TAKES TO HELP THOSE I LOVE AND THOSE I WILL COME TO LOVE...

I WILL VICTOURIOUSLY EMERGE THROUGH ALL MY TRIALS WITH GOD BY MY SIDE...

I WILL NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO TWIST GOD'S WORDS TO MAKE ME SILENT...

 WITH EVERY NEGATIVE WORD THAT IS SAID TO ME I WILL CREATE A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT FOR MYSELF, MY FELLOW SURVIVORS AND THOSE WHO TRULY ARE OUR SUPPORTERS....SO GET IT STRAIGHT, JUST LIKE JOB, THE MORE YOU FIGHT AGAINST ME THE MORE I FIGHT BACK, HUMANS CAN ONLY MAKE ME PAUSE BUT CAN'T STOP ME UNLESS ITS TO TAKE MY BREATH AWAY AND UNTIL GOD SAYS ITS OVER IT ISN'T OVER. 

I AM A SUBJECT NOT AN OBJECT AND I KNOW THAT NOW AND WILL NEVER FORGET IT.

PS...WHEN YOU FEEL DISCOURAGED DO WHAT I DO..EVEN IF I HAVE TO CRY WHILE I'M ENCOURAGING MYSELF I REMIND MYSELF THAT I'M THAT SAME GIRL THAT PRAYED AND CRIED NIGHT AFTER NIGHT AND DAY AFTER ... I AM A CONQUEROR AND NOTHING ANYONE SAYS CAN TAKE THAT AWAY....  I KNOW WHAT I WENT THROUGH AND I KNOW HOW I CAME THROUGH IT ....AND IF I CAN DO IT YOU BEST BELIEVE YOU CAN TOO...ITS A CONSTANT STRUGGLE BUT BELIEVE ME IT GETS BETTER WHEN YOU JUST STOP AND THINK ABOUT WHAT A WONDERFUL TEAM YOU HAVE EVEN IF ITS JUST YOU AND MY AWESOME GOD.

DO NOT LIVE BETWEEN YOUR HAT AND YOUR HEELS...PLEASE I IMPLORE YOU...STEP OUTSIDE THE CONFINES OF THAT DARK CLOSET...SEE WHEN YOU OPEN PANDORA'S BOX ALL YOUR TROUBLES FLOW OUT  BUT WITH THOSE TROUBLES, HOPE, JOY, HAPPINESS, THEY ARE ALSO RELEASED.

BE ENCOURAGED,

NICKY...striving with GIRLTHRIVE INC

Ways you love yourself!

Hey there fabulous gals!! Many of you are here on this blog because someone distorted "love" in a totally FU*^@#%ED UP way! Your father/brother/cousin/uncle/stepfather told you he "loved" you as he sexually abused you! You have had to learn to really love yourself.  Let's talk about the ways in which you now love yourselves.  It can be as simple as putting on a sweater when you are cold, or as sweet as treating yourself to a cupcake when you feel like having a sweet. Share the love!

How to Handle Triggers....

Hello wonderful gals! Sorry I have not put up a new blog in a while.... I have been busy maintaining "Invisible Girls" facebook page. But let's get back into the saddle with the blogs!

Okay, many girls talk about how hard it is sometimes when they get triggered and they don't quite know what to say or do.  You could be at a friends house and her brother may put his little sister or cousin on his lap- it could be totally innocent but you get triggered.... You could be at a movie and suddenly there is a scene that makes you get up and go to the rest room- you could be in class and someone taps you on the shoulder and you jump..... How do you handle triggers? What are some of your personal triggers?

Let's help each other with this- any ideas, solutions, success?!

xo dr. p

Book Readings!! Philly and Baltimore

Hi Girls- If any of you are from the Philly area please come and say hi this weekend Sunday and / or Monday in Philly - April 11th and 12th .   I am doing readings at Wooden Shoes on Sunday night and Robin Books on Monday night.

On April 24th I am reading in Baltimore at Red Emmas Freeschool-

Love to meet you! xo dr. p

Girlthrive Inc. Giving Away 5 Copies of "Invisible Girls" !!

The "Invisible Girls" facebook page has almost 1,000 fans.  I am finding that some of you fans do not even have a copy of "Invisible Girls"- So list 5 ways you heal and thrive after abuse- If you already have received your copy and done this before but want to add ways to heal - go for it- but let's give the books to those who don't have their own yet! xoxoxoxo dr. p

Girlthrive Photo Project and Youtube Project!

Hey there Gals!

 Go to the "donate to girlthrive" link and check out our gorgeus brochure.  It is gorgeus because many of your photos are on there!! I am doing a girlthrive photo project- I want to add more photos to the Girlthrive Inc. brochure and also put a page on the site- Let's put together lots and lots of faces of sex abuse- faces that are moving forward, moving on, moving beyond sex abuse! The world needs to see the many different faces of the girls and young women who refuse to let sex abuse ruin their lives!! Just email me your photo and I will send you a release form in the snail mail. Let's represent! Different cities, different countries!

I am also going to make a film with girls reading from "Invisible Girls" - Let me know if you are interested and we can start with Youtube-

Give me your ideas!

You go girls!! xoxox dr. p

My Incest Mother Rant!

Ok girls, I have the need to rant on this blog entry!! I have had it with incest mothers- I have had it. Fathers, well they are men- I do not expect as much from them. Of course any incest father is a total monster in my view- I have hatred and venum for any one who molests a child, teen, young person- But the mothers!! This past month I have had 5 girls call me and cry to me about their mothers. These girls are not my "clients" not girls that I see in my office for therapy. These are you girls, my bloggers, my Girlthrive girls- We know each other through the internet mostly- some of you have had Girlthrive Inc. Scholarships- we connect - but we may live across the country. I have had 5 of you reach out to me this past week because your f&&%$###ing mothers are driving you crazy. They are "reaching out" and saying how much they need you, miss you.... love you. Come on! Of course they are driving you crazy, because more than anything you want them to actually mean those words. But they DON'T. They want to use you, abuse you, make you feel guilty, make you feel that somehow the incest is your fault. They want you to feel as if maybe if you did not tell everything would have been just dandy. They want you to believe that you have broken up an otherwise functional family. They want you to be sorry for the abuse- Did you hear that, I will say it again. These incest mothers want you to be sorry for the abuse! I have had it with these incest mothers. Let one of them dare to call me, let one of them dare to try to speak to me- I will tell her that you are wonderful daughters, beautiful, bright and precious girls. You are girls that have been beaten down by abuse that you never deserved. I would tell these incest mothers that they had a priviledge to be mothers to girls, they had the honor of having daughters- I would tell them that they should be ashamed of themselves, they should know better. I would tell them that no matter how much abuse they themselves may have suffered through that it is no excuse to let their daughters suffer. I would tell them to leave you all alone, and let you get on with your lives. I would tell them that the mother daughter relationship is such an honor. I would tell them to let you wonderful daughters move on. Find new families, girls you all deserve to be away from the abusive lying mothers that allowed your fathers and your step fathers to abuse you. You deserve love and care and support. I have had it with incest mothers!! xoxox love, dr. p

Thriving after Triggers.....

Moving on is about thriving- sometimes there are triggers that are really upsetting- do you have triggers? Tell us how you have conquered your triggers- I talk about a girl in "Invisible Girls" who's father used to abuse her in the tub. It took her some years, but she took over the experience of bathing- she lights candles and plays her favorite music. She has taken over the bathing experience! How have you conquered your triggers!

Apply for a Girlthrive Inc. Scholarship!!!

Hi Beautiful Girls! Start the new year with a Girlthrive Inc. Scholarship!! I started Girlthrive Inc. in 2005 with the idea of college scholarships for incest survivors - 300$-500$ Now we have expanded and we just gave a girl a scholarship for singing lessons, another girl has yoga classes, a middle school girl now has a laptop computer!! Any girl aged 13-23 who has experienced incest can apply- all you need is to have a dream of something you want to add to your life- something creative and enriching!! Just email me at drpatti@girlthrive.com and I can email you the application. and Girlthrive Inc. also donates our book "Invisible Girls: The Truth About Sexual Abuse" all over the country- I can mail you a signed copy! xoxo dr. p

Holi daze..... Holidays Can Be Difficult...

Hi Beautiful Gals, I know that holidays can be difficult for many of you. Some of you have not disclosed your sexual abuse and you will have to face relatives this holiday season. Others have disclosed and your mothers and other family members have told you 'you have wrecked the family'. And then there are others who have disclosed and this holiday season you will be with your "chosen family", the family of friends and supporters that help you through these times. What ever your situation, if you are on this blog and if you have read "Invisible Girls" you are facing your history and you are dealing with it in some way. BRAVO!!!Hang in there, you will get through your past and you will soar- you are the strongest most righteous girls in the world!! Share some of your ways to get through Hanukkah and X-Mass, Kwanzaa and New Years- Also any resolutions for 2010!! xoxo dr. p

Come on Gals Become a fan of "Invisible Girls: The Truth About Sexual Abuse " facebook fanpage

Hi gals! I am getting face book savvy! Come join our fan page!Here is the link-

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Invisible-Girls-The-Truth-About-Sexual-Abuse/116869796414?ref=nf

Dr Patti's Radio Interview

Hi Gals, Recently I talked a little bit about McKensie Phillips on the radio- Unfortunetly she has a new book that claims "consensual incest" Oye Vey! We all know there is no such thing as consensual incest! If you want to hear a recent radio interview follow this link http://www.feministmagazine.org/
Go to past shows Novemember 4th- If you fast forward to the really nice song about teen girls the interview follows - It is about 10 minutes. xo dr.p