Girlthrive Blog

Long Time No Post!

2011-12-28T06:44:00.000-08:00

Wow I did not realize that it has been so long since I posted. I receive posts from you all for our different posts so I know that you are reading. It is update time. Nicki is putting together wonderful Girlthrive packages for all our members, with our T- Shirts, Mary Fahey Krause my most active Board Member is making beautiful scented candles, and Nicki is making bracelets. So expect your healing thriving packages this April being Sex Abuse Awareness month! I applied for a grant specifically for for Girlthrive Scholarships and WE GOT IT!! So put your thinking caps on and think about ways to heal, ways to expand, ways to be creative and think about applying for a Girlthrive Scholarship. Some of the Scholarships recently have been for a guitar, a netbook, funds toward a flight to a dear friend, vet bills for doggies, manicures and pedicures, funds for nursing books. We have some extra funds now, so please feel free to apply! Just email me at drpatti@girlthrive.com xoxox dr. p

girlthrive membership blowing up!

2011-07-10T20:46:00.000-07:00

Hi there, Nicki is doing such a wonderful job with the Girlthrive membership !! Nicki is putting together a membership package- with our amazing Tee - Shirts- Ms. Mary our top Board Member is making candles and body oil just for Girlthrive! The scents will be designed with herbs and oils that stand for courage and strength. So take the time and email Nicki at Nicole Mckenzie nicole.mckenzie1@yahoo.com and become a member of GIRLTHRIVE! xo dr.p

Book Club - Let's Read and Talk About "Invisible Girls" Post By Nicki

2011-04-11T19:09:00.000-07:00

Invisible girls has touched us all, but now we have a chance for a virtual book club with girls from all over the globe to share our thoughts and feelings- issue by issue, choosing topics and chapters and dr.P will be right there with us. This week we'll start discussing Chapter 4… "Finding Your Truth: Facing The Emotional Aftershocks and the Beginning of Healing". My view of life is that as a survivor I can now determine how I live my life! No matter how hard my day is I always try to remind myself that I'm a survivor and so I can take on anything! Turning my famine into fortune means that I am now calling on the strength that helped me survive to help me heal! How do you turn your famine into fortune?

FAMILY REJECTION:::

2011-03-22T00:58:00.000-07:00

I keep hearing more and more from girls all over the world about how their families reject them after they disclose their abuse. I have to say it is one of the sickest parts of incest. How a mother can reject her daughter and choose the abuser makes me want to lock those mothers up and throw away the key! Your thoughts..... xxx dr. p

Parole Hearing

2011-03-16T18:33:00.000-07:00

I just got back from Rhode Island from a parole hearing with a Girlthrive girl. She was magnificent and I learned a lot. I learned that in the State of Rhode Island at a parole hearing for a sexual offender you are not limited in what you say. Many times in court before the abuser is locked up, you could be terrified, but now a couple of years later you have more courage, perhaps therapy and you can say what ever you want. Our girl let the parole board what a monster her abuser was. And they told her she was brave and strong and wonderful. THEY DENIED HIS PAROLE.!! Do any of you have experiences to share about court or parole or reporting your abuser? We would love to hear your experiences with this. xxx dr. p

Girlthrive Tee's

2011-02-12T08:21:00.000-08:00

Girlthrive Inc. is partnering with a wonderful young fashion designer from Philadelphia to make our Girlthrive Tee's! Reese Juel has agreed to volunteer her time and energy to design our tee's! These Tee's will be given to all scholarship girls, all donors, and sold on the site.

So far Nicki and I have come up with I AM A GIRLTHRIVE GIRL! and I HELPED A GIRL THRIVE!

So unleash your creative energy and send us your ideas! Blog us your ideas and let us know your age too! xo dr. p

Please Review Girlthrive Inc. on Great Non-Profits!

2011-02-04T05:08:00.000-08:00

Girlthrive Inc. is growing and helping more and more girls every day. Please review Girlthrive on Great Non-Profits so that we can apply for more and more funding and help more and more girls! First click the link to our brochure and then please go to the link for Great Non-Profits and write a review . You are all a part of the Girlthrive community! Love xo dr. patti

http://www.girlthrive.com/donate/Brochure.pdf

http://greatnonprofits.org/reviews/girlthrive-inc/

Beautiful Post by Nicki!

2011-02-02T19:22:00.001-08:00

my resolution- No longer living between my hat and my heels.

by Nicole Mckenzie on Thursday, October 28, 2010 at 12:55pm

Here I am thriving and surviving and I make a resolution that I will do what I must to help as many victims of abuse as possible. No sooner than i make this resolution and i start to speak out...suddenly I begin to receive backlash from people who everyone would assume to be the last people to do such a thing. One statement I heard that almost brought me to a very quick stop was "In your quest to help other people you are hurting alot of innocent people." You know, I really had to stop and think about things and it became so clear that everyone is happiest when an incest survivor suffers in silence so that no one asks questions.

My message to everyone is that, that is my point...people need to ask questions and stop leaving these girls and boys to suffer. apparently no one remembers that I never asked to be abused nor did I ask to be separated from the people who truly loved me. To all my abuse survivors it is never your fault...it is the abusers fault...Sadly, the truth is that many survivors are forced to into being victims of suffering in silence because when they speak out people ask questions.

WELL I HAVE NEWS FOR THE WOLRD. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ASK QUESTIONS, THAT IS THE ONLY WAY YOU WILL LEARN HOW TO IDENTIFY WHEN SOMEONE IS BEING ABUSED. One of the things alot of people always say to me is that they couldn't tell I was being abused. Truth is that not all sexual abuse victims are as obvious as depicted in "Precious". Many of us, live between our hat our heels.

But here is my resolution to my resolution...I WILL NO LONGER LIVE BETWEEN MY HAT AND MY HEELS TO PLEASE ANYONE...

I WILL NOT KEEP SILENT....

I WILL OPEN PANDORA'S BOX (as keeping it closed keeps my hope hidden)...

I WILL DO WHAT IT TAKES TO HELP THOSE I LOVE AND THOSE I WILL COME TO LOVE...

I WILL VICTOURIOUSLY EMERGE THROUGH ALL MY TRIALS WITH GOD BY MY SIDE...

I WILL NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO TWIST GOD'S WORDS TO MAKE ME SILENT...

WITH EVERY NEGATIVE WORD THAT IS SAID TO ME I WILL CREATE A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT FOR MYSELF, MY FELLOW SURVIVORS AND THOSE WHO TRULY ARE OUR SUPPORTERS....SO GET IT STRAIGHT, JUST LIKE JOB, THE MORE YOU FIGHT AGAINST ME THE MORE I FIGHT BACK, HUMANS CAN ONLY MAKE ME PAUSE BUT CAN'T STOP ME UNLESS ITS TO TAKE MY BREATH AWAY AND UNTIL GOD SAYS ITS OVER IT ISN'T OVER.

I AM A SUBJECT NOT AN OBJECT AND I KNOW THAT NOW AND WILL NEVER FORGET IT.

PS...WHEN YOU FEEL DISCOURAGED DO WHAT I DO..EVEN IF I HAVE TO CRY WHILE I'M ENCOURAGING MYSELF I REMIND MYSELF THAT I'M THAT SAME GIRL THAT PRAYED AND CRIED NIGHT AFTER NIGHT AND DAY AFTER ... I AM A CONQUEROR AND NOTHING ANYONE SAYS CAN TAKE THAT AWAY.... I KNOW WHAT I WENT THROUGH AND I KNOW HOW I CAME THROUGH IT ....AND IF I CAN DO IT YOU BEST BELIEVE YOU CAN TOO...ITS A CONSTANT STRUGGLE BUT BELIEVE ME IT GETS BETTER WHEN YOU JUST STOP AND THINK ABOUT WHAT A WONDERFUL TEAM YOU HAVE EVEN IF ITS JUST YOU AND MY AWESOME GOD.

DO NOT LIVE BETWEEN YOUR HAT AND YOUR HEELS...PLEASE I IMPLORE YOU...STEP OUTSIDE THE CONFINES OF THAT DARK CLOSET...SEE WHEN YOU OPEN PANDORA'S BOX ALL YOUR TROUBLES FLOW OUT BUT WITH THOSE TROUBLES, HOPE, JOY, HAPPINESS, THEY ARE ALSO RELEASED.

BE ENCOURAGED,

NICKY...striving with GIRLTHRIVE INC

Ways you love yourself!

2010-10-13T06:43:00.000-07:00

Hey there fabulous gals!! Many of you are here on this blog because someone distorted "love" in a totally FU*^@#%ED UP way! Your father/brother/cousin/uncle/stepfather told you he "loved" you as he sexually abused you! You have had to learn to really love yourself. Let's talk about the ways in which you now love yourselves. It can be as simple as putting on a sweater when you are cold, or as sweet as treating yourself to a cupcake when you feel like having a sweet. Share the love!

How to Handle Triggers....

2010-09-22T18:48:00.000-07:00

Hello wonderful gals! Sorry I have not put up a new blog in a while.... I have been busy maintaining "Invisible Girls" facebook page. But let's get back into the saddle with the blogs!

Okay, many girls talk about how hard it is sometimes when they get triggered and they don't quite know what to say or do. You could be at a friends house and her brother may put his little sister or cousin on his lap- it could be totally innocent but you get triggered.... You could be at a movie and suddenly there is a scene that makes you get up and go to the rest room- you could be in class and someone taps you on the shoulder and you jump..... How do you handle triggers? What are some of your personal triggers?

Let's help each other with this- any ideas, solutions, success?!

xo dr. p

Special Generational Event! Speak Out Your Anger!

2010-04-14T17:50:00.001-07:00

Because of requests on "Invisible Girls" facebook page from some women who would like a forum to release their anger- here is a chance for girls and women aged 13-80 to release their anger toward their abuser. This is an exception - we are expanding the age on this post! Get out your anger in a safe clear place. xox dr. p

Book Readings!! Philly and Baltimore

2010-04-10T07:33:00.000-07:00

Hi Girls- If any of you are from the Philly area please come and say hi this weekend Sunday and / or Monday in Philly - April 11th and 12th . I am doing readings at Wooden Shoes on Sunday night and Robin Books on Monday night.

On April 24th I am reading in Baltimore at Red Emmas Freeschool-

Love to meet you! xo dr. p

Girlthrive Inc. Giving Away 5 Copies of "Invisible Girls" !!

2010-03-19T04:55:00.000-07:00

The "Invisible Girls" facebook page has almost 1,000 fans. I am finding that some of you fans do not even have a copy of "Invisible Girls"- So list 5 ways you heal and thrive after abuse- If you already have received your copy and done this before but want to add ways to heal - go for it- but let's give the books to those who don't have their own yet! xoxoxoxo dr. p

Girlthrive Photo Project and Youtube Project!

2010-03-09T09:11:00.000-08:00

Hey there Gals!

Go to the "donate to girlthrive" link and check out our gorgeus brochure. It is gorgeus because many of your photos are on there!! I am doing a girlthrive photo project- I want to add more photos to the Girlthrive Inc. brochure and also put a page on the site- Let's put together lots and lots of faces of sex abuse- faces that are moving forward, moving on, moving beyond sex abuse! The world needs to see the many different faces of the girls and young women who refuse to let sex abuse ruin their lives!! Just email me your photo and I will send you a release form in the snail mail. Let's represent! Different cities, different countries!

I am also going to make a film with girls reading from "Invisible Girls" - Let me know if you are interested and we can start with Youtube-

Give me your ideas!

You go girls!! xoxox dr. p

My Incest Mother Rant!

2010-03-01T17:54:00.000-08:00

Ok girls, I have the need to rant on this blog entry!! I have had it with incest mothers- I have had it. Fathers, well they are men- I do not expect as much from them. Of course any incest father is a total monster in my view- I have hatred and venum for any one who molests a child, teen, young person- But the mothers!! This past month I have had 5 girls call me and cry to me about their mothers. These girls are not my "clients" not girls that I see in my office for therapy. These are you girls, my bloggers, my Girlthrive girls- We know each other through the internet mostly- some of you have had Girlthrive Inc. Scholarships- we connect - but we may live across the country. I have had 5 of you reach out to me this past week because your f&&%$###ing mothers are driving you crazy. They are "reaching out" and saying how much they need you, miss you.... love you. Come on! Of course they are driving you crazy, because more than anything you want them to actually mean those words. But they DON'T. They want to use you, abuse you, make you feel guilty, make you feel that somehow the incest is your fault. They want you to feel as if maybe if you did not tell everything would have been just dandy. They want you to believe that you have broken up an otherwise functional family. They want you to be sorry for the abuse- Did you hear that, I will say it again. These incest mothers want you to be sorry for the abuse! I have had it with these incest mothers. Let one of them dare to call me, let one of them dare to try to speak to me- I will tell her that you are wonderful daughters, beautiful, bright and precious girls. You are girls that have been beaten down by abuse that you never deserved. I would tell these incest mothers that they had a priviledge to be mothers to girls, they had the honor of having daughters- I would tell them that they should be ashamed of themselves, they should know better. I would tell them that no matter how much abuse they themselves may have suffered through that it is no excuse to let their daughters suffer. I would tell them to leave you all alone, and let you get on with your lives. I would tell them that the mother daughter relationship is such an honor. I would tell them to let you wonderful daughters move on. Find new families, girls you all deserve to be away from the abusive lying mothers that allowed your fathers and your step fathers to abuse you. You deserve love and care and support. I have had it with incest mothers!! xoxox love, dr. p

Thriving after Triggers.....

2010-01-21T04:47:00.000-08:00

Moving on is about thriving- sometimes there are triggers that are really upsetting- do you have triggers? Tell us how you have conquered your triggers- I talk about a girl in "Invisible Girls" who's father used to abuse her in the tub. It took her some years, but she took over the experience of bathing- she lights candles and plays her favorite music. She has taken over the bathing experience! How have you conquered your triggers!

Apply for a Girlthrive Inc. Scholarship!!!

2009-12-30T04:26:00.000-08:00

Hi Beautiful Girls! Start the new year with a Girlthrive Inc. Scholarship!! I started Girlthrive Inc. in 2005 with the idea of college scholarships for incest survivors - 300$-500$ Now we have expanded and we just gave a girl a scholarship for singing lessons, another girl has yoga classes, a middle school girl now has a laptop computer!! Any girl aged 13-23 who has experienced incest can apply- all you need is to have a dream of something you want to add to your life- something creative and enriching!! Just email me at drpatti@girlthrive.com and I can email you the application. and Girlthrive Inc. also donates our book "Invisible Girls: The Truth About Sexual Abuse" all over the country- I can mail you a signed copy! xoxo dr. p

Holi daze..... Holidays Can Be Difficult...

2009-12-23T10:51:00.001-08:00

Hi Beautiful Gals, I know that holidays can be difficult for many of you. Some of you have not disclosed your sexual abuse and you will have to face relatives this holiday season. Others have disclosed and your mothers and other family members have told you 'you have wrecked the family'. And then there are others who have disclosed and this holiday season you will be with your "chosen family", the family of friends and supporters that help you through these times. What ever your situation, if you are on this blog and if you have read "Invisible Girls" you are facing your history and you are dealing with it in some way. BRAVO!!!Hang in there, you will get through your past and you will soar- you are the strongest most righteous girls in the world!! Share some of your ways to get through Hanukkah and X-Mass, Kwanzaa and New Years- Also any resolutions for 2010!! xoxo dr. p

Come on Gals Become a fan of "Invisible Girls: The Truth About Sexual Abuse " facebook fanpage

2009-12-12T18:48:00.000-08:00

Hi gals! I am getting face book savvy! Come join our fan page!Here is the link-

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Invisible-Girls-The-Truth-About-Sexual-Abuse/116869796414?ref=nf

Dr Patti's Radio Interview

2009-11-13T06:15:00.000-08:00

Hi Gals, Recently I talked a little bit about McKensie Phillips on the radio- Unfortunetly she has a new book that claims "consensual incest" Oye Vey! We all know there is no such thing as consensual incest! If you want to hear a recent radio interview follow this link http://www.feministmagazine.org/
Go to past shows Novemember 4th- If you fast forward to the really nice song about teen girls the interview follows - It is about 10 minutes. xo dr.p

Faces of Surviving and Thriving! Invisible Girls Become Visible!!

2009-09-23T19:39:00.000-07:00

I am putting out a huge fundraising campaign for Girlthrive Inc. so that we can provide more Girlthrive scholarships to girls and get the new edition of "Invisible Girls " into the hands and hearts of the girls who need it. Please email me your faces! : Invisible Girls become Visible. No one ever knows from the outside who is a survivor. The broshure will state these are faces of girls who have been sexually abused and although they have been through trauma they are whole, beautiful, strong and thriving! Please join our circle of support to all girls everywhere! This will be a broshure- none of these photos will ever be on the internet- It will be for fundraising to donate scholarships to girls- I will send you a sample of the content of the broshure and a release form- I hope to include at least 20 photos! If you choose not to be in it no problem- Thanks in advance, xo dr. patti

A New Section on Girlthrive with your art!

2009-09-17T10:07:00.000-07:00

Hi fabulous girls! I am revamping my site to have a section of photos and artwork and poetry from you fabulous girls!! So send me emails with some creativity! Pics of your art work, clay, jewelry, photography-

GIVING AWAY 5 COPIES OF THE NEW AND REVISED EDITION OF INVISIBLE GIRLS!!

2009-08-18T16:27:00.000-07:00

Hi Gals! Please become a fan on our facebook page for "Invisible Girls: The Truth About Sexual Abuse" !! Here is what is posted there- Our second edition is printed and ready to go out to the book stores all over the country any minute now!! I just got my copy and it is BEAUTIFUL! Seal Press has generously agreed to give away 5 copies of our new edition !! Here is the catch, the first 5 gals aged 13-23 years old please list 5 ways you are healing/ have healed from sexual abuse!! These copies are donated to you through my publisher Seal Press, but look for more give aways through Girlthrive.Inc. !! xo dr. p

Invisible Girls has a Facebook Fan Page!

2009-08-05T19:26:00.000-07:00

I am clueless with Facebook, my publisher set this up. She told me it is a great way to spread the word about "Invisible Girls: The Truth About Sexual Abuse" . Then I saw girls set up a "I (heart) Dr. Patti and Invisible Girls page! So please add the facebook link to your fan clubs. Just search -Invisible Girls: The Truth About Sexual Abuse. Within a week we have more than 400 fans and over 100 fans from Iceland! And all over the world!! Please become a fan and tell your friends!! love xoxox dr. patti

Let's Help Each Other!

2009-07-19T20:27:00.000-07:00

I learn amazing things from girls every day! Girls heal and move onward with their lives after abuse. This is a great opportunity to share with each other your techniques - your skills - your ways to heal. If you want to communicate directly with each other, email me- I will exchange your email addresses- Don't post your email addresses on the blog directly- I want to protect you gals!!

What Would You Like To Talk About??

2009-06-24T19:36:00.000-07:00

It is time for you wonderful gals to give me some ideas on subjects you would like to talk about. Please send ideas for what we should blog about next. I am excited to hear from you! xo dr. p

You Couldn't Stop Him

2009-06-04T08:18:00.000-07:00

So many girls write to me and tell me that they feel 'stupid' or 'weak' that they did not stop their abusers. They look back and they think they could have stopped their brother, father, date.... but it is clear that there are reasons that girls do not stop their abusers- I begin "Invisible Girls: The Truth About Sexual Abuse " talking about just this. Here are some of the points I make in the book. :

Why didn't you stop him- you lived under his roof, you were living in a web of fear and confusion, you were young, you didn't have good options, or a strong support system- Why didn't you stop him- We live in a culture where boys will be boys- a culture that pushes the sexist belief that young girls are ready for sex when their bodies start to develop, where a male dominated government decides the laws about rape and incest, pornography, child and spousal abuse and abortion - You didn't stop him because you couldn't.

I want you girls to try to begin to forgive yourselves. It is clear to me, that you were trapped and abused and you did not see the way out. If you have found a way out now, applaud yourselves! If you are finding a way out- reach out to us- we understand. xoxo dr. patti

"But I Never Said NO" .....

2009-04-09T05:52:00.000-07:00

I hear from so many girls that are carrying around so much guilt. They were sexually abused. When the man or guy was pulling down their underpants to have sex, they became frozen... they could not say no. They did not want to have sex, their bodies did not respond- sometimes they cry, sometimes they pull away, sometimes they try to get their bodies out from underneath the guy on top of them, sometimes they go numb,. they just layed there- frozen - they did not ask for sex - but they could not open their mouths to say "no". It is clear that that is still rape. That is still sex abuse. Here is a girl's experience sent on the blog as a response to the last blog about prostitution- I wanted to post it here so that she could get some support from all of you wonderful brilliant girls- I know that many of you have been there too and have come through it. Let's give this gal some support! I know how much it will help her. I am posting it here because it has so much in it. She feels so guilty, she feels bad about herself because now she is free with giving her body over to guys even though she does not want to, she is engaging in drug use to escape- Come on girls - help her out! Please respond to this post. I know how amazing this community is- I also know that whenever we reach out to a girl - then another girl gets help and another and another! Here is her post:

i too never really said no, but i guess it must have been clear when i was pushing him off and crying. I mean i though he was so much cooler and older. i was 14 and he was 19 and it just seemed like a great thing to do at the time. its funny because he was the nicest one out of all of them. maybe that's why i reject any guy who asks me out or likes me. i mean after i was pretty much a slut having one night stands, i just didn't think i deserved to have sex with anyone who liked me. i didn't even like it. i would just lay there and pretend to be somewhere else. Im 17 now and i know i mean drugs are really the only thing that helps me escape reality which is pretty much pathetic but i guess i am that. i just cant help but wonder what if i didn't go out that night you know? and i know you will say its not my fault...but i mean it is. i think. I'm just confused.and this doesn't make any sense ad the most inappropriate place to write this. so i am sorry. i just needed to write it all out .....so sorry again

Prostitution Is Sexual Abuse!

2009-03-05T21:03:00.000-08:00

I have had to honor to work with some of the amazing girls in the G.E.M.S. program here in New York City. G.E.M.S. stands for girls educational mentoring services. It is a wonderful program that helps to get girls out "of the life" . For those of you that do not know, "in the life" means the life of prostitution. I have learned from these brave girls that they had no other options, they did not have loving supportive homes, parents who loved and cared for them. They were vulnerable. Think about it... sexual abuse involved being forced to have sex with someone you are not ready to have sex with, do not choose to have sex with, do not want to have sex with, basically it is rape. Think about the 15 year old girl sent into a hotel room and a 50 year old man comes in, and says "Give me a blow job now." She does it- she escapes into her own world somewhere very far away from this gross man, this blow job. One girl told me when she had to "do tricks" for "johns" she basically exported herself to Hawaii on a beautiful beach and swam with the dolphins. See, girls forced into prostitution also "check out" while they are being abused. Just like incest survivors. So next time you hear someone call a prostitute a "hoe" "hooker" "whore" try to correct them. Tell them, those girls are abused too. xo dr. patti

Date Rape Story of Courage and Sucess!

2008-12-19T09:12:00.000-08:00

Jullianna wrote to me about two years ago about her brother molesting her during her young adolescence. She was now in college and pursuing a nursing degree. She had read "Invisible Girls" gone to the Girlthrive website and found inspiration. She sent me her story- it was the first time she began to process. "Invisible Girls" helped her to begin healing at around 19 years old. I awarded Julianna a Girlthrive Scholarship stipend for her studies. We kept in touch. She was making smarter decisions regarding men, dating, drinking etc. She sent me a photo in the mail early last year of her and her brother- actually dealing directly with each other, beginning to heal. Cut to the other day... I get an email from Julianna telling me she was raped by her girlfriends ex-boyfriend at a party. She drank too much, blacked out, and then woke up half naked and knew that the "friend" had raped her. There were also witnesses at the party who saw him take her into his bedroom- Julianna went to the hospital and the police. She wrote that she was afraid that I would be disappointed in her for drinking, and getting raped. She was clear that even though she was drunk, the rape was not her fault ! She wanted to prosecute. Her family does not support her on very much emotionally, they are not close, and she did not tell them. Of course I was so proud of her for writing to me and sharing her experience. I wrote back telling her I was proud and thought she was so very brave to report the rape. Well yesterday Julie called me on my cell! She had just come from the courts and her charges against the rapist stuck. There is a warrant out for his arrest, he will spend Christmas in jail- they are going to trial! Julliana found out that he had also raped other girls- she feels she is not only saving herself but other girls too. Although the ex girlfriend of the rapist is still friendly with the rapist, has rejected Jullaina, she will not tell her parents because they will most likely blame her, the lawyers in court made her out to be to blame and a drunk slut, .... Julianna is happy, she is proud. Many people who were at the party came forward in her support as witnesses- I got to be "Dr. Patti Mommy" I got the chance to be Julliana's good mommy at the moment where she called ME when she left the court room. Girls you have no idea what an honor it is to be in your lives- I am so touched and moved by all of you every day. !!! Sharing Great News xo dr. Patti

Time to Think About Women's Rights!

2008-10-15T09:42:00.000-07:00

The summer has come and gone and we are here ready for a new election. I hope all of you are aware that Mc Cain and Sara Palin are against abortion. Palin is against abortion even in cases of rape and incest. This is amazing to me- what is more amazing is that women can call themselves feminists who believe this. !!!!! If you are old enough to vote I urge you to look at the facts about women's rights before you vote- The Obama ticket is for women's rights and Biden Obama's Vice Presidental running mate actually wrote and was instrumental in passing the Stop Violence Against Women bill to protect girls and women!! Here is what Joe Biden has to say about that bill:

"I consider the Violence Against Women Act the single most significant legislation that I’ve crafted during my 35-year tenure in the Senate. Indeed, the enactment of the Violence Against Women Act in 1994 was the beginning of a historic commitment to women and children victimized by domestic violence and sexual assault. Our nation has been rewarded for this commitment. Since the Act’s passage in 1994, domestic violence has dropped by almost 50%, incidents of rape are down by 60%, and the number of women killed by an abusive husband or boyfriend is down by 22%. Today, more than half of all rape victims are stepping forward to report the crime. And since we passed the Act in 1994 over a million women have found justice in our courtrooms and obtained domestic violence protective orders." – Senator Joe Biden

What are your thoughts on this election? My biggest political concern has always been women's rights- Love xo Dr. Patti

Camp CADI In Full Force!!

2008-07-26T20:50:00.000-07:00

Hi girls!! Thank you all for reaching out to me through the blog and email so that I could help to sign you up for Camp CADI, the only camp for sexually abused girls! Amy has come up with such wonderful activities for Camp CADI- The Girlthrive Scholarship Fund has awarded 10 camperships to girls from all around the country!! We have girls coming from the South, Mid-West, New England, Pennsylvania and New York City. I am so proud of all of you girls that are blogging and reaching out! Look forward to lots of pics in a future blog after the Camp. Amy hopes to run Camp CADI all over the country soon. There will be spa nights, camp fires, music, poetry, dance, talent shows, rope courses, and more. So please stay tuned! After the camp the girls will share their experiences on our blog. We will keep you all posted! xox dr. patti

The Court Ruling No Death Penalty For Rapists of Children

2008-06-27T20:04:00.001-07:00

Not sure if you are all aware that there was a court ruling this week that rapists will not face the death penalty. This ruling is basically for men who rape children. At first I was upset, but very quickly I began to think about the survivors. It would be a terrible responsibility for a child to know they were responsible for someones death. I also believe that it would make it much harder in incest cases in particular. What child really wants to be responsible for their father, or uncle dying? Also who knows if the child would always be blamed by other family members. So I concluded that it makes sense for the survivor not to have the death penalty for the rapist. It is hard enough for so many survivors when their abuser is convicted and locked up. Often she/he is blamed for the abuser being locked up, and that is bad enough, can you imagine being responsible for the death of a father?..... Your thoughts........ xo dr. p

2008-05-17T16:02:00.000-07:00

Sexual Abuse In Religion: Mother's Sending Their Daughters to Hell...

2008-04-28T16:22:00.000-07:00

I have been so grateful to read the comments from the young women involved in the Morman Religion and other religious groups. One thing I do not specifically address in "Invisible Girls" is abuse in religion. It is so much like incest. It seems that the girls are told to marry and to have sex with these men by the religion and also by their mothers. I am guessing that just as with incest, the mother refusing to protect her daugher, is the most upsetting and traumatizing for the girls. After all, if your own mother tells you to marry when you are 15,16,17, 18 years old.... who can you trust? Who will protect you? Not only do these discusting men say you belong to them, they actually say that God speaks to them and that you are obeying God by marrying ... Oye Vey.... I never stop being amazed by the strength and honesty of all of you. I am so thrilled that some of you have found Girlthrive and feel you can reach out to us here on this blog. So.... What have some of your mothers done to make you feel that you had to give in to sexual abuse......??? When a mother actually stands by and watches her daugther marry an old man who has many wifes, how can this girl feel? This has to be so confusing and upsetting to all sexual abuse survivors. But when you share you realize you are not crazy or alone. As always thank you all so much for sharing. xxoo dr. patti

Texas Polygamy Compound

2008-04-20T17:01:00.000-07:00

I have been so upset and confused by the latest bust of the polygamy compound in Texas. I am totally confused about how this is possible. How is it that in the United States that men are allowed to marry more than one woman- or should i say girl.... What I do not understand is how it is possible that this bust has taken place because of one girl calling and saying she has been abused. Don't the police know about this compound?! How come it has taken this long to go in and take the children away from this crazy abuse?????!! I saw the women on the news and they seemed so robotic, so totally hypnotized into believing that all is well with their lifestyle. I also saw some of the gross 50 and 60 year old men that "marry" these 15,16,17,18, year old girls. YUCK! This is incest, sexual abuse, sexual exploitation, you name it. It is totally WRONG!!!! I know that many of my clients get triggered when this kind of thing is on the news. I am sorry that it is happening in this Century, and I am sorry that as a nation we are all so blind and helpless that this goes on. Thank goodness someone came forward - thank goodness that the judge is taking time for these children to have time away from the compound while details are being sorted out. Thank goodness one young woman came forward and TOLD!! I can only hope that this will set some sort of precedent for other polygamist compounds- instead of hiding, I hope we will bust in and take the children and the women and De-program them- Thanks for listening to my rant! xo dr. patti

April Sex Abuse Awareness Month

2008-04-11T22:37:00.000-07:00

Well each April we acknowledge sexual abuse a bit more. I believe every month should be sexual abuse awareness month. This month I was able to speak on speaker phone to a class at Ithaca College in Upstate New York about "Invisible Girls". The teacher has used my book for three semesters with her health ed undergrad teachers in training. It was great to speak to the students directly. Also I will be taking the train to Washington DC tomorrow to participate in "Stop The Silence" march. I will be personally giving away books through my Girlthrive Education Fund. So if any of you are in Washington on Sunday April 13, stop by the march! And remember every day you tell someone sex abuse exists you are breaking open Pandora's box of secrets!
What have you done on a personal level that has broken open Pandora's box?? Please share. xo love, dr. p

Have any films resonated for you?

2008-01-12T10:05:00.000-08:00

Well day two of the Girlthrive blog. Thanks so much for all your comments! I am wondering if any films have resonated for you? I saw the film "Hard Candy" last year, and I thought it was quite amazing. I won't be giving anything away by telling you that the teen girl in the film is strong, smart, cunning and gets to torture the abuser. If you are faint of heart, this film may be too much for you. It does deal with the anger of being a survivor, the anger of all sex abuse, and it is a revenge film. I loved it- but of course it was too strong for women to really make it by Hollywood standards. It was not in the theaters for very long. But if you can get it on dvd I reccomend it. I would love to hear your reviews of this film or any other that you felt was strong for survivors and girls in general. xxoo dr. patti

my first post

2008-01-11T17:19:00.000-08:00

hi everyone! i am really excited to start this blog. i can not wait to hear what so many of you have on your minds. i am getting so many emails from girls telling me that they are healing from sexual abuse. recently i heard from a girl that was 13 years old. she took "invisible girls" out of her local library and after reading it she told her mother about her abuse. her mom actually was able to help her - this 13 year old says that now she has stopped pulling her hair, she sleeps at night, and her nitemares have stopped!!! yeaahhh.
i can not tell you how amazing it is to hear these kinds of experiences. what is on your mind? do you want to share an experience? tell us about a film you have seen recently that was powerful for you? tell us what helps you heal? i would love to hear from you. xxoo dr. patti